Whirlpool (Hand to the plough)

My life has just got caught up in kind of mad whirlpool of madness lately.

One of those times where you hate being in the middle of what’s going on but you also know there’s something deeper going on?

Something spiritual.

Something that will shape you that little bit more and ultimately move you on to a stronger place, to a better understanding of where your life is heading.

Yeah?

Well I’m in one of those crazy vacuums right now.

Questions flood my mind. What should I be doing? Where should I be? What am I? Who am I? Who am I perceived to be? Where should I be heading in this life?

Is it a mid life crisis?

Nah!

It’s hardly a crisis; I’ve had worse times in my life.

However, I do feel a bit disorientated as I really seek where God wants to position me.

And I am desperate for answers. Patience is something I’m working hard on right now!

I was talking to my friend James in S21 the other day and he was telling me about what’s going on in his Church right now. He was telling me that the leader of his church was going to speak from Luke 9: 57-62. As we were talking the conversation seemed to be hitting me somewhere very deep.

57 As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”58 Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” 59 He said to another man, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”60 Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61 Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” 62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plough and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

The first thing that struck me was the fact that I make those statements. “Yeah God I will follow you wherever you go.” “Wherever you lead me I will follow”

Then every bone and sinew in my body feels like doing its own thing, going my own way. I feel like getting everything sorted out so I know where I’m going, what I’m doing and all those other questions that emanate from the mad whirlpool.

Yet that doesn’t seem to fit with Jesus answer.

“Foxes have holes, birds have nests but the son of man has nowhere to lay his head.”

Jesus doesn't seem to get settled.

He has to be flexible and fluid and be ready to go where the need is.

Yet we often want everything sorted.

This week I’ve been spending hours with two of the street dwellers who come into S21 every day for food and warmth and love. Richard is about 55 and has been living in doorways for about 10 years. His mate, Ian has been homeless for two years. I’ve loved being with them this week, they’ve shown me where they sleep, a quiet doorway in an old building by the river in Durham. They have been sharing with me how they survive. How they get up at 3am every Friday and Saturday to look for money the clubbers have dropped in their drunken states. They have shown me where they can find food that’s been dumped. I’ve sat and eat with the, and seen how the constant mission to find alcohol, then drink it is sending them to oblivion. Part of me believe it or not, wanted to drop being a minister and go and live in a doorway myself, but I don’t think Dawn would let me somehow. But these guys are always on the move, always looking to survive. They really are living, breathing beings that genuinely have nowhere to lay their head.
And being with them this week, as I saw the place where they sleep for instance, a horrible place where rats roam and foxes look for food and where constant danger lurks, dirty and hellish, I saw why Jesus has to be flexible. Because he was in this place and countless other places too.

And i realised that if I’m going to follow him I’m going to be taken to places I don’t want to be and don’t want to go.

I can’t have it the way I want it.

The second thing I noticed in this scripture was that this time Jesus invites the guy to follow him. But the guy says “OK yeah but first let me just go and bury my dead father.”

Seems like a pretty important thing to do.

But Jesus says, “Let the dead bury their own dead.”

I don’t want to get into the theology of that statement, just to say that it hit me how many excuses I can put in the way of Jesus invitation to me to follow him.

And not only for me but I can see this in the Church too. Jesus says follow me, but we hear in reply, “but first the finances have to be in place.” “It has to be ratified by the board.” “You have to give up this and do that first.” “You can follow Jesus but you have to do it in the way we tell you.”

Jesus says. “Let the dead bury their own dead.”

Enough said!

The third thing and most important to me right now is we see Jesus again throwing out an invitation to follow him but again the answer comes back, “first let me go and say goodbye to my family.”

Jesus says this;

“No one who puts a hand to the plough and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
Its amazing how we get drawn into looking backwards and wishing life could be like something from the past where we were settled and happy.

Jesus is kind of saying, “I’m offering you a new way of life, something fresh. Its hard work but it’s the only way to go.”

But if you look backwards, if you have to constantly go and deal with things then you aren’t fit for service in the kingdom of God because it’s comfortable back there, it’s familiar, and it will draw you away from kingdom business.

Talking to James he was kind of challenging me to look at the plough.

My plough.

The work God has given me to do.

I’ve been thinking lately I wish I was back in Liverpool, at the Boiler Room, the amazing church we had, the amazing ministry. I loved it.

But that’s not my plough any more.

I remember driving down the M6 towards Liverpool just after we had moved to the North East and seeing the most fantastic sunset as I approached Liverpool. It just unfolded in red-gold glory right before my eyes. I remember feeling so lost because I really wanted to be in Liverpool, wanted to be in the past, in my former life. I felt God speak into my heart when he said, “Gary, you have to let the sun go down on Liverpool for now because I’m taking you to other places.”

God has given me a new plough.

And maybe he will give me another new plough.

But the important thing is. Don’t look back!

Or even more important than that don’t go back!

We won’t be fit for service in the Kingdom.

Maybe there is some fear of stepping out or moving forward going on your life right now and you are in the same mad whirlpool I’m in right now.

Don’t let it suck you under.

God maybe doing something deep.

Maybe we need some flexibility, a realisation that we can’t know the full picture all the time.

Maybe you need to let the sun go down on the past?

Maybe you need to go up to your plough and start pushing it?