Making Room

I dont know how my brother and sister in law do it.

Thirteen people camped out in their house over Christmas.

It was a chaos! A kind of nice chaos, but nevertheless chaos!

My little two year old granddaughter Kaidance slept on the floor next to Dawn and I, and she kept rolling under our bed, in fact crying out loud at various times in the night because she had bumped her head.

Meal times were everyman for himself events, drinks were spilt, a few ornaments were broken, a typical slice of family Christmas.

It was so nice though.

There was hardly any room to move .

Now back at home in a much quieter environment, I sat down with a coffee and did a spot of reflection. When I say reflection, I love to just let my mind wander in the silence and take me to wherever.

That could be me about to take a penalty at Anfield in front of the Kop, or a recap of whatever has gone in my life that particular week, or whatever really.

I just go where I go with my thinking.

Its the best type of quiet time for me!

Often sone of my best sermons have come from these times.

And today?

My mind centred on the overcrowded Christmas I had just had.

Just before Christmas I read from a high pulpit in the ancient wonder that is Durham Cathedral, in front of a couple of thousand people. As I stepped down from the pulpit, the carol, O little town of Bethlehem began.

As I got back to my seat my mind was in overdrive. Did I speak clearly enough? Did I pronounce the words right? I wasn't really concentrating on the carol, but suddenly the words "be born in us today" seemed to land in my brain with shuddering force.

And this Christmas suddenly came alive for me.Reflecting on this in relation to my mad Christmas at my brother in laws, I thought to myself, If Jesus had actually called round in person that night, there would have definitely been no room for him.

Of course in the Christmas story, just before he entered this life as a human being, his parents were turned away from a couple of hotels. I guess if those inn keepers had really known who the unborn baby was in mary's womb, they would have made room.

My mind then recalled a time many years ago when I was on holiday at a theme park in the USA with my family. We were looking forward to a day in a particular area of the theme park. When we arrived we found it had been closed for the morning because a famous premiership footballer wanted to rent it for the morning for his family. It felt a bit like a no room at the inn experience

As I continued to mind-wander in the silence of my office at home, I had to ask the question of my self, have you made room for Jesus over Christmas?

Be born in us today? That is the searing hope of Christmas in that big request. But we have to make room for that to happen.That American theme park was probably so concentrated on celebrity, on kudos, on one upmanship, that it shut out the rest of us whatever the consequences.

Do I do that with Jesus?

Do we do that?

Do we fill our lives with so much other stuff that there is no room for Jesus?

Is there overcrowding in our deepest being?

Way to much clutter?

For him to be born in us?

To change our hearts and our lives forever?

It's worth reflecting on as we come into a new year.

2012.

A new year, a new dawning, a new era for everyone of us.

How do we make room?

I guess we need to switch our attention on to him, recognise he is the Lord of everything. Talk to him, listen to him, love him, read about him, share him, soak ourselves in him, forgive others, let bygones be bygones, realign our spiritual lives, agree to make new starts, come out of our messes fighting!

Lay down your clutter.

Go on, you've been carrying it way too long.

And if you are struggling for a prayer right now.

Here is one.

An amazing request.

Be born in me today?

Happy new year, with oodles of God's favour on your life.

The danger of worldly perfection

Walking through the thin winding streets of Durham towards the ancient and iconic Durham Cathedral all I could think of was I hope this doesn't go on too long!

At 8.30am this morning I was on my way to a rehearsal at the Cathedral for its annual 'Nine lessons and carols' service. This service is massively attended every year.

I have been asked to deliver the eighth of the nine lessons.

In other words, read a slice of scripture out!

So here I was at this early hour, wondering why I have to practice doing a reading.

The rehearsal was very ordered.

One of the canons explained what would be happening.

A verger would come to my seat and bow his head, I would have to bow my head back! Then he would walk me to the lecturn, a brassy extravagantly adorned pulpit about eight feet higher than the possible 1500 congregation. I was told before I went up the stairs to the pulpit the verger would nod his head again and I needed to reciprocate! Then once in the pulpit I had to press a button to switch on the microphone Then read the passage, and then switch the microphone back off! The verger would then meet me at the bottom of the pulpit, we would do the nodding thing again, and he would march me back to my seat.

To remember all that on the night, i'll need a miracle!

I thought I was just reading the bible!

I guess the people at the cathedral want it to be as near perfection as it can be.

I must admit I could do without the nodding thing though!

Waiting for my turn at rehearsing the reading my mind began to wander.

It was kind of eerily like the bad old days in growing up in the Salvation Army.

All that showy perfection that plagued us for decades.

Under that guilt-laying thing that perfect people used to say, you know? The best for the highest?

And for me I could never live up to that because I ain't good at worldly perfection really.

I guess the quest to produce quality salvationism, yeah the shiniest shoes, the right coloured tights (not me of course!) The most gleaming brass instrument, the best voice, the top chair in the band, Top boy or girl at summer camp, all that stuff, kind of ecame a relentless slog for me. I even used it as my main tool to gain popularity with my peers.

What did it actually do?

Well if you are asking me?

I think it masked my brokeness.

So much so when I look back I couldnt allow my real self to be shared with family and friends never mind a saviour.

I think that is the danger of worldly perfection.

Now?

I just love Jesus really.

When I read about him in the scriptures and see him in the brokeness of the world, I see more and more that its not worldly perfection he wants from us, but our brokeness maybe?

Im loving the fact that I can now relate to him not because I am so brilliant at being a Salvationist (which I am definately not!) but because he wants me as I am.

And from where I am? He puts my life together, bit by bit.

And my relationship with him is way more authentic really.

So if you are thinking you have to be a perfect salvationist, or Baptist, or any other 'ist?' in order to please God or get favour with him?

Have a bit of a rethink?

God will take you as you are now.

No matter how imperfect?

In him there will be hope forever.

Real-time Christmas

I’m sitting in Costa coffee. It’s a cold, dark winters evening. The pavements on the street outside are wet. So wet that they look glass-like, a kind of mirror sheen slickly coats the whole surface of the street outside. The shining street surface catches beams of light that reflect in stunning lines all over it, creating a symphonic mix of colours. Blues, reds, greens. They are reflected from the hundreds of Christmas lights that adorn the shops and café's.

It feels like Christmas.

Christmas changes the city.

Of course, I am talking about a cosmetic change.

A change to the whole look of the city.

The city is transformed.

It reminds me of a kind of ashes to beauty transformation.

As I look into the colours reflected on the pavement, I ruminate on the fact that Christmas; this cosmetic transformation, brings a kind of warmth inside that is real and comforting.

Christmas really does change the city.

After my Costa light with hazelnut essence, I walk down to a not so Christmassy place.

Down in a doorway on the edge of the City centre I see Richard sleeping. His matted hair sticking out of the top of his dirty sleeping bag. A wine bottle stands empty beside him. The flask of soup he received today lies on its side minus its lid, a trickle of untouched soup spills out on to the wet concrete.

I’m better leaving him asleep.

I want to take him home or get him a bed in a night hostel, but he never takes us up on our offers.

I think about Christmas changing the city.

It doesn’t seem quite so transforming here away from the bright lights and the decorations.

A kind of thick frustration rises up into my heart and starts to jostle for a place with the compassion I’m also feeling.

The commercialism of Christmas, the cosmetic Christmas, sucks so many into its attractive glow.
It has the power to make us feel different.

Looking at Richard sleeping in this doorway?

Somehow I don’t think he is catching the warmth really.

Then the truth of Christmas steals in on my thinking.

Jesus was born so that real-time transformation of this world is totally possible.

So many, including myself at times, buy into the pseudo-warmth of a cosmetic Christmas.
Pseudo-warmth can transform a city, cosmetically at least.

But the real truth of Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ, can transform a life, a city, a nation, the world!

The truth of Christmas lasts every day for all of time.

Cosmetic Christmas gets packed away in January and comes out again next year.

For Richard in his doorway, cosmetic Christmas means absolutely nothing.

But the real-time truth of Christmas means he has a hope.

He isn’t a hopeless case.

None of us are.

If we could buy into the real-time truth of Christmas as easily as we buy into the cosmetic Christmas our lives would change forever.

That is the true transformation that Jesus Christ of Nazareth makes totally possible.
A real-time hope, a real-time truth and a real-time relationship.

I pray this Christmas will be a watershed for you, a new start, a real hope and a reminder why we are here on this planet at all.

And I want to say here thank you to all those who have taken the time to read my blog this year. Thousands and thousands of hits from over 40 countries! Especially for my last post, the Salvation Army and alcohol, which had over 500 hits in three hours!It is just breath-taking! It is such a blessing to me personally especially all the emails full of encouragement about my writing. It is spurring me on to write much more in the future. Next year I am going to open my blog up for more comments so watch out for that. I pray that God has touched you in some way through my blog, and I pray for you that 2012 will bring massive blessing on your life.

Merry Christmas.
Gaz

The Salvation Army and Alcohol.

“Another day another struggle.”

This statement was spoken by the first person to come through the door at Sanctuary 21 this morning.

Steven's face sported a kind of bluish glaze, only made more apparent by his alcohol induced filmy eyes. The blue glaze was more down to the severe bite of the North eastern night winds that seem to be whipping winter into cruel reality as we speak.

Steven needed food.

A night of downing litre after of litre of “White lightning” a ridiculously potent alcoholic rocket fuel that is both cheap and nasty, had left its mark etched on Steven's face and demeanour.

Sheila, one of our amazing hospitality workers, who relentlessly produce fantastic hot soup and other amazing food that they lovingly serve to people whom a good number have absolutely nothing, and are in the main hopelessly trapped in alcoholism and drug addiction, lovingly produced a bowl of steaming hot soup and a cheese and ham toastie for Steven.

He ate the food ravenously.

He needed it to dilute the effects of the alcohol.

“At least I don’t feel the cold when I’m drunk”, he said, with a kind of pleading sadness that almost shouts out, “will someone help me please”.

Steven is one of many who come in daily to be helped and to be loved and to be accepted despite how they look, feel or behave.

I could tell a thousand stories right now about the plights of these desperate people who are poor and needy and madly lost. I might even set up a new blog apart from this one to tell some of these stories because they are hidden stories of despair that reminds us that we have to step in and start rescuing these people who as that old hymn that I can barely recall says, rescue the perishing.

But sitting amongst these people on a daily basis, I see first-hand what the effects of alcohol can be. Yeah I've heard all the so called experts saying that alcoholism is a result of deeper problems and I have no doubt that is so, in some cases, but increasingly I see more and more deep problems being created as a direct result of alcoholism, particularly in the young as they get hoodwinked by societal acceptance trends into a drink culture that is both fashionable and totally acceptable.

I know this an often explosive topic.

And in no way do I wish to condemn people who drink, especially those who do so responsibly.

But the other day I met a Salvationist who said that it is time the Salvation Army changed this whole drinking regulation (or whatever it is) because lots of people do it anyway.

I'm just quoting what he said, that's not my words before I get a big response! I really don't know if that is the case.

I thought long and hard about this.

Do you want to know what I think?

Having spent a few years working directly with people trapped by alcohol, I have made the choice I would never touch it, I have done in the past, but I would never do it now.

I have made that choice not because there is a Salvation Army rule written on it. I have made that choice because I truly believe I need to demonstrate to others that God is better than alcohol.

I have seen how social drinking can easily spiral over that fine line into dependence on alcohol.

I've seen it claim lives, not only by ruining lives but to the point of it taking lives.

And I truly believe that is the essence of why the Salvation Army originally decided to promote abstinence from alcohol.

The essence of it being to help to save those dying in a raging sea of alcoholism.

I wrote recently about a guy who drank himself to death. One of our family of homeless people in our Church. I wrote about standing looking at his sad, bare coffin in the crematorium, watching as two of his alcoholic friends cried. I wrote that I vowed to fight for these guys, and I wrote how I caught the essence of the I'll fight statement by William Booth.
I think that if we didn't demonstrate that we can live our lives free from the traps that the spirit of this age would set for all of us, then we can't really call ourselves an Army?

Can we?

And I think spiritually that's it! It is an opposite spirit thing. The spirit of this age would say go on, drink; drink yourself into such a state that it blocks the pain and suffering out. But God came to give life in all its fullness so it makes utter sense to demonstrate the opposite of drinking which simply is not drinking.
The spirit of his age would say, drinking is so much fun, it's funny. How many times do we laugh when someone can’t stand up, or is puking into a bush somewhere, or lying with his face in a curry at 2am in the morning in some run down Indian restaurant following a night in the City?

I didn’t see anyone laughing when our guy died on The Street.

I don't think we need to get rid of our stand on alcohol at all.

I think it fits right into our fighting strategy in the war against Satan and his angels who comes as an angel of light and says, “Go on you've worked hard all week, you deserve To go and get blitzed, go and get drunk, it'll be great.”

I'm not an expert on alcoholism.

But I've seen it ruin the lives of many.

I know this wrankles with many, and I want to say I understand that. I know there are those who think this is archaic thinking too, and that Gary isn't cool because he makes this stand. And I would agree, I'm not cool! And I would agree that my view on this doesn't really fit in with societies views on drinking. But I've got big shoulders.

And as I sat with Steven today, and heard his sorry cry for help? And saw the desperation of his fight to be free from alcoholism?

I'm thinking in the name of Jesus? Thank God I'm not cool!

I implore you to pray for those trapped in alcoholism. It may be that someone reading this is heading that way? I pray you will turn that around.

blessings.

Below Zero

This morning it's freezing.

I stepped out of my front door this morning and the cold immediately bit me.

It's at times like this I wish I didn't shave my head bare blade!

My head is so cold the icy pain is penetrating my skull. Before work today I need to but a hat, pronto!

The cold this morning reflects the way I feel today.

For the longest time I've felt so spiritually hot.

But this morning I feel I am below freezing spiritually. Probably around minus 3 degrees centigrade.

About a year ago I wrote a blog called Wilderness, a blog post that shared from my heart that Dawn and I felt stranded and alone living in a small village in the North East of England miles away fro our friends, our families, and more than that, City life.

Since then we have worked tirelessly and fought ferociously to focus on kingdom building work despite our wilderness experience.

And we have come through this far.

But this morning the wilderness is back. It's never really left us but we have tried so hard to cope.

This morning though, I'm having one of those moments where I feel stuck and I can't see a way ahead for us. And I also know that we need to move back to a City soon.

I feel spiritually freezing this morning.

Below zero.

This week I traveled by train from Durham to London for a meeting.

As I stepped out onto the pavement outside Kings cross station in the centre of the City of London, I was hit by the thousands of people cramming the sidewalks, the gridlocked traffic with red buses, black taxis and filthy lorries dominating the queues. I was almost deafened by the noise of the City.

It took my breath away.

And I knew right then that this is where I flourish best, where I feel I operate to the maximum, where my heart really is.

But for now I am in a village, a village full of amazing people, at a church with such great people, who we love deeply, but my heart and my destiny lay in the City.

Every day is a fight just to fight off the loneliness and the feeling of isolation.

I don't think the trip to London helped me at all this week.

And this morning?

I feel freezing.

In the past, I have kind of resisted asking God to help us in this situation as I Know he places us where he needs us.

I know that!

But this morning I just cried out aloud to God to come and rescue us. I feel like we need rescuing.

I guess I'm not alone in feeling like this. We all get to this point I guess at various stages in our lives?

The problem is we know in theory these are the times we need to turn to God, but it seems difficult to do somehow?

With all my strength today I prayed that God would give me something to grasp a hold of.

A lifeline.

I opened the bible at Psalm 6.

Maybe Psalm 6 is a lifeline today?

This Psalm resonated totally with how I'm feeling this morning.

David seems to be spiritually freezing. He cries out to God, more than that he has right old moan to God! He says, “My soul is in deep anguish. How long? How long?”

That's my actual cry this morning!

He cries to the Lord to save and deliver him from the situation he finds himself in, he implores God to rescue him.

Sounds so much like me today!

In fact uncannily it's the same anguished cry from the heart that I have this morning.

“I am worn out from my groaning”, David cries pleadingly.

That's exactly how I feel. Internally and externally I have groaned for a long time as I have lived out this total wilderness experience.

But then, David's faith light switches on!

This is why I find the Psalms so helpful in difficult times, you can relate to the anguish but David seems to be able to switch on his faith light in almost every situation.

He says with stunning assurance, “The Lord has heard my cry for mercy, the Lord accepts my prayer.”

Among all the coldness of an anguished soul He recognizes that God not only hears our prayers but accepts our prayers.

This truth brings heat my freezing heart this day.

Deep in my being, I know that God is there, I know he hears my cries, and I understand he accepts my cries, takes them on board. He doesn't just absorb them and do nothing, he always does something.

Whatever you feel today, whatever situation you guys find yourselves in, then, maybe this truth will bring some warmth to your soul today.

God hears and accepts our prayers.

I don't want to hog my prayers today with my needs, so I pray for you today that this post will help you in some way.