Ready for a change

This afternoon, a visit to the doctors for some blood tests and an ECG, after feeling a bit under the weather for a week or two, had an unexpected twist. 

The Doctor said on reading the ECG result informed me that at some point in my life I've suffered a heart attack.

That really was a shock.

I can't really recall having such chest pain to suggest that. I've had a few twinges over the last few years but nothing to suggest a serious problem. 

So.

I find myself at the start of a journey I would rather not take that starts with a visit to a London Cardiologist in the near future. 

I came home and found that kind of news really hard to absorb.

A thousand thoughts were vying for supremacy in my head. 

The doctor had given me a stern lecture on changing my lifestyle. Diet, exercise, and as much stress free environment as I can manage.

He even suggested I change jobs! After grilling me about my Work and giving me his opinion that it was way too stressful for me to safely continue!

That's a laugh.

A change of lifestyle?

I have to admit, I find that concept a little bit exciting. 

A complete change. 

A change that will help my health improve considerably. 

So.

Head first I plunge into a new way of life in terms of diet, exercise and trying to find stress free elements to my work in the Salvation Army (I guess that could be hard!)

Change is exciting. 

Pushing new ground.

Discovering new things. 

I don't want another heart attack. So I'm looking forward to new frontiers. 

I think in my Christian life, on my mission it's time for change too.  

I feel more than ever God is leading Dawn and I to cross over new frontiers. Our heart is for desperately needy people. I'm way more disillusioned with the regulations and other general daft ness associated with religion than at any other point on my Christian Journey. I just love Jesus. I just want to help people to encounter a king. 

And.

Today.

After my news?

I'm ready for a change. 

What that means I'm not yet too sure. 

But.

I do know it is incredibly exciting to stand at the threshold of something you have no idea what lays on the other side of it.  

This is what The Lord spoke about my life today (I've used this verse in a previous blogpost)

“When we were at Mount Sinai, the Lord our God said to us, ‘You have stayed at this mountain long enough. It is time to break camp and move on. Go to the hill country of the Amorites and to all the neighboring regions—the Jordan Valley, the hill country, the western foothills, the Negev, and the coastal plain. Go to the land of the Canaanites and to Lebanon, and all the way to the great Euphrates River. Look, I am giving all this land to you! Go in and occupy it, for it is the land the Lord swore to give to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and to all their descendants.’” (Deuteronomy 1: 6-8)

My lifestyle has to change. 

In every way.  

I've stayed on the mountain I'm on way too long. It's time to break camp. 

It's time to discover more of what God has for me. 

Blessings today. 

Dangerous places

Sitting in Starbucks today 

Just

Thinking. 

My mind switches in flashback speed to a few years back.

To a place so terrible.

Auschwitz.

Poland. 

Dawn and I were drawn there on a ministry exercise.

To pray.

God had said to us he had something to show us there. 

And he showed us lots. 

But sitting here in Starbucks on a break from the mission field. 

Just an hour.

My mind takes me back to a dark cell in the basement of the infamous block 10. 

I had stood in the horrendous 3 ft by 3 ft space with a very low ceiling where they used to cram four prisoners at a time. 

I thought of the wall where millions were shot and killed. 

The horrible laboratories where the most dreadful of experiments were carried out especially by Mengele. 

I remember how my heart cried out for my Saviour in that place. 

Since that time I have read a lot about this concentration camp. I have read of the courage of the inmates, the escape attempts, the dramatic rescue attempts, the eventual liberation of those held in this camp. I've read about the pointless waste of life administered by an evil regime. 

Then.

My mind switched to another place. 

To the Vatican City.

Roma.

Where the spaces are vast. Adorned with beautiful art worth fortunes. The ceilings ain't low there. 

And in my head a question arises. 

"Where would you rather operate?"

I had to admit my heart was in the cell.

I think if my favorite book in the bible.

Paul's letter to Timothy.

I think of where some of that was written in a small cell while waiting to be beheaded for living out his faith. 

A dangerous place.

And.

It dawns on me that some of the most profound scripture was written by real heroes of the faith from very difficult situations, not from the lavishness of the exotic temple or the comfortable place. 

And.

I feel a strong calling on my own life. 

I have met some pretty desperate people, ministered in some pretty dangerous places so far. 

I think of the "sermon" I once preached to sixty gang members in a self built headquarters amongst some trees in a city. How I had been invited in because they thought I was OK. I remember feeling that I should be scared as I saw those brooding, angry faces looking towards me, but I was filled with courage. I remember as I told them about Jesus and how a quietness descended on that very dangerous place. How tears began to stream down some of their faces and how some just turned and walked away. 

Yeah.

My heart is in the cell.

In the place where the most need is. 

And I think how my ministry is shaped not in the comfortable walls of the church building but in amongst the dangerous places of peoples lives. In the mess, in the darkness, in the prison like dangerous spaces of peoples lives. 

And I feel God saying this today. 

We are called to make a difference in his world. I pray today that we would choose the danger of the cell over the lavishness of the church. 

So we can rescue the people who live there. 

Blessings today. 

 

A Dawning (miraculous prayer)

The battle feels so intense today.

There's just Dawn and I at Church this morning.

An empty church.

Stripped bare.

I've felt a heaviness lately. A hopelessness even. Someone has spoken about us to others saying we have nothing to say to the SA anymore because we are from something they label as generation X. A generation who supposedly didn't disciple the young in a proper way. Which in our case is really rubbish because we are both fairly new Christians anyhow.

And it's not good.

It kind of knocks you. And that kind of talk the enemy uses to try and disarm and immobilize you.

That kind of theology is devoid of love and encouragement. That kind of theology writes people off, renders them dead and of no use to the future of Gods kingdom. Which in my book renders it null and void.

But humanly it still hurts. 

So.

We turn to God.

In a big way.

We start to cry out to him for something we can grab a hold of.

Suddenly.

The emptiness of this building comes alive. 

We are led to a scripture Acts 12. 

The exciting example of the power of prayer.

Peter chained between two guards. In a top security prison. 

His church were back at base praying like mad for his release. 

A supernatural snapping of chains occurs and a temporary lapse in sight of the guards and Peter gets up and walks out of his prison. 

I noticed something this morning. 

In verses 8-12

Then the angel said to him, “Put on your clothes and sandals.” And Peter did so. “Wrap your cloak around you and follow me,” the angel told him. Peter followed him out of the prison, but he had no idea that what the angel was doing was really happening; he thought he was seeing a vision. They passed the first and second guards and came to the iron gate leading to the city. It opened for them by itself, and they went through it. When they had walked the length of one street, suddenly the angel left him. Then Peter came to himself and said, “Now I know without a doubt that the Lord has sent his angel and rescued me from Herod’s clutches and from everything the Jewish people were hoping would happen.” When this had dawned on him, he went to the house of Mary the mother of John, also called Mark, where many people had gathered and were praying. (Acts 12:8-12 NIV)

A dawning occurred.

It dawned on Peter that what was happening was really true.

He was free. 

Supernaturally

And as Dawn and I were crying out to God we felt God speak.

This is what he said.

Do not pray insipid prayers. Th time now is to roll out the big prayers. The prayers that are wrapped in the miraculous, in the supernatural. 

Big.

Big prayers. 

It dawned on us. 

The same kind of dawning that Peter had. 

A beautiful dawning.

This is real.

So we once again began to pray chain snapping prayers into the air of the kingdom. 

For ourselves.

For our ministry.

For our family.

Yeah.

Our prayers had become a bit insipid. Wrapped up in self pity and guardedness.

We have something to say I believe. 

And.

I'm saying it now.

I believe our prayers need to push into new ground. 

Ground never been trod before. 

Don't be frightened by it.

Are you fed up with insipid prayer?  

Weak feeble attempts to acknowledge God. 

I have experienced God this morning wanting me to pass on a message. 

Do not be afraid to ask for the chains to be snapped off whatever is going on right now. Pray seriously big prayers. Believe in the miraculous. 

Has it dawned on you?

The reality of Gods awesome power?

Have you prayed things you just thought were a vision?

Has it dawned on you that God is really doing stuff. God is really snapping chains. 

Miraculous.

Breathtaking. 

Has it dawned on you that prayer is vital.

Earnest prayer. 

Does our lack of faith leave us in the safe lands of insipidness when it comes to prayer?

Faith is going to lead is into the dangerous grounds of the unknown. Every time! Leading us Into those uncharted waters where we will not meet the expected. 

There is an unexpectedness attached to God and to prayer. 

I want to be in that Land. 

So much. 

So.

Today.

I urge you guys to be bold in prayer, raise the bar, Whatever you want to call it. 

Imagine the possibilities.

Imagine the meaning. 

Imagine the lives touched through the unexpectedness of a mighty Savior. 

Blessings on your life today.

Running on empty

My people have committed two sins

1. They have forsaken me, the spring of living water.

2. They have dug their own cisterns.

Broken cisterns that cannot hold water. (Jeremiah: 2:13)

Instead of going to God the spring of living water, they ignored that and built their own cisterns. Cisterns were constructed holes in the ground lined with different things to store water. But they were often broken and flimsy and could not hold any water. It just seeped away into the ground.

The good news of this scripture is that the living water is available. 

The problem is that the people of Israel at the time of this prophecy were trying to provide their own supply of water to satisfy their spiritual needs and desires.

They built their own cisterns, they worshipped other Gods, they dealt with stuff on their own. They set up their own systems of spiritual refreshment. 

Sadly those type of cisterns break easily and they cannot hold water. 

Interesting that God reminds us that is a sin.

They were far from God. 

They were spiritually dry. 

Ever been there?

Are you there now?

Just imagine what Living water would look like and feel like for a second.

Yeah it flags up all kinds of pictures.

I like to see it as an endless life flow of the mercy, forgiveness, Grace and love of Jesus.

A healing water.

A flash flood of peace. 

I ask myself today why do I build my own cistern so often and wonder why I feel so dry sometimes? Why I am running on empty so often.

Why?

When I know that when doing that I am forsaking God, the spring of living water.

Which is the kind of water I need.

I build my own cistern so often.

Someone says something hurtful, I build a cistern.

Someone tries to bring me down, I build a cistern. 

I build cisterns when life isn't going great as well as sometimes when life is going fantastic.

The cistern I build is usually made with porous stuff like worrying what people think of me. 

What would that person think if I did this? Or said that? You know that kind of thing.

I should be going to the spring of living water. I should care what God thinks about me much more than what others think. 

I should drink from it and receive the life giving flow.  

And.

I'm learning to do that on this journey.

But it's not just about learning.

I have to make it a way of life.

I sense the urgency of that this morning as I pray.

I've been running on empty a little bit lately but I felt the spirit of God speak to me this morning and say, "it doesn't have to be that way."

Anyone out there feeling a bit empty?

And.

Spiritually dry?

Are you building your own cisterns, going to the wrong places to try and get that thirst quenched. Worshipping a false God? Not believing in God at all? Trying to deal with things on your own? Sorting something out that you feel God couldn't possibly help you with? Feeling abandoned or useless? A bit hopeless even?

Then go to the spring of living water.

Jesus, the father the son and the Holy Spirit .

The life giving water full of hope, grace and love.

Take an almighty slug of that. 

Yeah.

Go to that place.

Maybe the prayer I prayed for myself today may help someone.

Lord I choose to come to you today, I abandon all cisterns that I have built to try and fill my life with meaning. I've found nothing but emptiness there. I am desperate for your living water, for your mercy, for your grace, for your love, for your life. Please God fill me with life, new life, new perspective, a new dimension. Forgive me for the times I do not run to you, for the times I run anywhere but to you. I repent of that sin Lord. I have forsaken you at times, but you never leave me and I'm so glad of that. Thank you for that truth Lord that means that the spring of living water is near me eternally. I rise up from my knees Lord changed by this fact. I receive your life giving flow right now Lord. In Jesus name Amen.

Seize the moment

The teams around us had nearly all dropped points. Liverpool FC in the past two decades have had problems taking advantage of other teams when they drop points. Sunday was no exception. I've followed Liverpool all over the world and probably seen most games either live or on the TV since I was first taken on to the Kop at the age of three. When I was watching the game this weekend on Sky Sports my mind focussed on the fact that we failed to seize the opportunity again.

Seize the moment. 

This week has been one of those weeks in our ministry that I love. Lots of prayer, lots of silence, lots of visionary connection with God. 

It's been a pivotal week where we've laid down the nuts and bolts of our strategy to build a sanctuary in West London. 

It looks good.

It feels good. 

On top of that we have sat with a number of people who have come out of the blue and agreed to come on board with us. Each one brings something to the table and will each add a new dimension to the way we plant this Prayer Centre.

Which brings me back to the footie on Sunday. 

So.

I was sitting seriously twisted up inside that yet again Liverpool FC had failed to seize the Moment! To the point I got told off by my lovely wife Dawn who has never grasped my love of football! When that phrase, seize the moment kept swimming around in my head. 

I thought of this week.

And it Dawned on me.

In fact it hit me.

Hard.

In a good way.

That this opportunity afforded to us in West London is a moment in time. 

A moment that is an opportunity. 

And I felt the responsibility to seize the moment clear and fresh fill my heart.

And.

We are seizing it. 

Things are motoring along. 

God is doing something special.

Quickly. 

Seize the moment. 

Which brings me to you guys. 

I felt the Spirit of God asking me to share this today which means it's for someone. 

Have you seized the moment? You know the one God is placing before you. Do you feel like you keep the missing the moment? Or that you have lost the moment? Well, have a think today. Is it really over? Or is the moment still there? Is the opportunity still there? Is the idea still there? Is the feeling still there? 

We are living in times I believe where seizing the moment is becoming more and more important especially for the church. 

So I feel like writing more but God is prompting me to sign off now.

Just seize the Moment. 

Because God can do immeasurably more than you ask or imagine.

Blessings on your life today

The first time I saw your face

This is a re-run of a blogpost from back in 2011. 

I felt an urge to republish it tonight. 

So for whatever reason the prompt has come.

May it bless you massively. 

Here goes.

Tonight I am Just chilling.

My earphones are firmly in my ear canals.

From the depths of my Smartphone streams a song. Leona Lewis singing "The first time ever I saw your face." It sounds like pure golden liquid pouring into my ears.

As the song played its spine tingling notes, I began to reflect on the first time I ever saw the face of Jesus.

It was in Victoria train Station in London back in 1999.

And on reflection tonight, it was the very moment that changed my life forever.

No flashes of lightning, or claps of thunder.

I saw a homeless girl sitting down propped up against a wall.

She was so young.

She was tired, dirty and obviously hungry.

I don't know what made me stop.

As from a distance I looked at her, I saw another girl, also so young, but much healthier, clean and well dressed, walk over to her and simply kneel down beside her.

She placed her hand on the girls shoulder and whispered something into her ear. She was seemingly to oblivious to the thousands of people coming and going to their respective destinations. More than that the thousands walking past seemed oblivious to the homeless girl lying on the floor.

As she placed her hand on her shoulder, she closed her eyes and began to pray for the homeless girl.

As she prayed, I saw tears start to stream down the homeless girls face. They left tear-trails in the dirt on her face.

I watched.

Transfixed.

I had never ever encountered Jesus in my life before, due to my indifference.

But here in the face of this young homeless girl, I saw him.

I saw Jesus.

I encountered him in her hot tears.

I saw him in her pain filled face.

I was so touched.

This was a simple act of kindness in a frantically busy London train station. But I knew that in that one moment something big happened in my life.

I think that was the first time ever I saw His face.

It was so amazing.

It changed my life forever.

All the rubbish that was attached to my life, stuff that I had been dragging around with me for years seemed to loosen. I had a feeling inside that this was a real chance to draw a line on the past and begin a new life.

In that moment I couldn't get away from the feeling that the only way to experience a new, full, amazing life, the only way, was to be in relationship with Jesus.

I was also dumbfounded by the girl who had taken the time to care for this young girl.

How brave she was.

How beautiful.

How breathtaking was the unconditional love she was showing.

I was in a daze, I just felt like abandoning my life altogether and spending the rest of my life wiping the tears of the lost and the lonely.

My life up until that moment meant nothing. All the partying and overspending just suddenly came out into the open and I saw it clearly as a worthless pile of hopelessness.

I wanted desperately that my life should mean something.

And the first time ever I saw His face? It all changed.

Changed in an instant.

I remember saying over and over, "Will you fix my broken life?"

And all these years on? He has.

So do you remember the first time ever you saw His face?

Hey, maybe you have never seen His face?

Look around you.

He is absolutely everywhere.

In the eyes of brokenness.

I urge you to look for His face.

Maybe you haven't seen Him for a while?

As I say, maybe you have never seen him.

The other day I gave a pair of my jeans to a guy who has nothing. He had soiled his one pair of jeans in a drunken stupor. As I handed them over to him, his face just lit up. 

His face looked almost angelic.

Definitely, I was giving the jeans to Jesus.

It felt like an act of communion somehow.

More and more amidst the often lifeless religion and church, and all that stuff, I see Jesus crying out for water, food and even a pair of jeans.

So if you have never seen His face?

There is always a first time.