Two years

Two years.

It’s taken me to recover from total burnout in ministry.

But.
I’m recovered,  healed, restored,  whatever you want to call it.

Last night I took to the stage to preach once again.

And

I noticed a big difference in comparison to my two-year recovery period.

The life was back in my voice.

The life was back in the words.

I felt calmer,  sharply focussed and clear in attitude,  mind and approach.

The clarity has come from a determination to see lives transformed.

That’s the end game for me.

My purpose.

My vision.

My mission.

I took the two year remission from all things church and more specifically all things Salvation Army.

I took Jesus advice literally when he invites us to come to him all of us who are all heavy laden and I will give you a real rest.

And

I should have known.

It really does work.

It works supremely well.

Not only am I now like a caged lion ready to get back to what I am called to do,  but I am changed. 

Changed completely.

Better,  stronger,  refreshed and prepared.

So.

Why do I share this little insignificant piece of information about my progress today?

Well,  when I woke up this morning I had this incredible urge that someone was in desperate need.

I have no idea who that person is.

But I just knew I had to write it and blog it.

Whoever it is.

This is what the Spirit of God says to you.

“Come to me and take a real rest.  I understand your pain. I know you’ve hit rock bottom. Lay down the battle you are experiencing, let me fight that for you. But you,  you need to recover.  You really need my kind of recovery,  a restoration of a broken spirit, a damaged heart and a tired mind. I know about your weakness,  I know about your constant striving to please people that you are never going to please. Leave that battle,  just walk away and run to me. I will give you a recovery like no other. Come to me and I will give you rest.”

Guys.

I know it is never easy to lay something down.

But I sense the urgency this day for you to do that.

O listen to the heart of a saviour who loves you and cares infinitely for you.

Step up and take a real rest.

And you will recover your life.

I don’t know who you are but I will be praying for you.


         

Who is leading you?

Every year I read an old book from start to finish.

It's a book that has had, and continues to have, a big impact on me.

The book inspires me.

It spurs me on.

It teaches me lessons I need to learn.

The book is the Cross and the switchblade by David Wilkerson.

The story of Wilkerson powerful ministry to the notorious gangs of 1950's New York.

This time.

On this year's read through.

My God spoke powerfully into my heart.

I'm about to move to Cheshire.

And I've had all kinds of ideas about how I will continue to minister there.

But.

I couldn't truly see the way forward.

Yet.

I read about how Wilkerson, when everything seemed lost, when he couldn't get to see seven boys who had brutally murdered a young polio victim in Highbridge Park, New York, felt he had met a massive block seemingly in his way. The authorities wouldn't let him see these boys without the signed permission of every parent. He had no names and addresses. He only had the name from a magazine article of one of the boys.

He needed those names and addresses of parents.

But.

He didn't have them.

He prayed this prayer.

"Lord I have reached the limit of my own humble ideas. If I am on your errand, then you must lead me from now on."

In an astonishing answer to that prayer God led them to pull up and park on a Bronx Street right outside the parents apartment of the boy who's name was revealed in the magazine article.

As I read Wilkerson's prayer today, I realised something. That I too have reached the limit of my humble resources when thinking about my future.

Suddenly a scripture appeared in my head.

"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. " Psalm 119: 105

And

That was quickly followed by a question.

" Who is leading you Gary?"

Right then?

I had to admit it was me leading me.

Trying to set into motion my humble ideas.

But

I became gloriously aware that I had to trust God, to lead me forward, to put my faith once again where it might get knocked down.

I got a shiver down my spine.

Letting God lead me instead of me leading me, was incredibly more exciting and sure.

So I prayed the same prayer as Wilkerson's prayed on a New York Street in 1957.

Lord, if I am on your errand, then, you must guide me. I have reached the limit of my humble ideas. Lead me where I must go for I do not know.

Maybe there are people reading this who don't know where to turn next in some situation or even in your life?

Then the message for you this morning is that when we step out on God's promise to be a lamp to our feet, and a light on our path, then doors will open on the way.

Who's leading you?

Spacious

This last week has been a brilliant week really.

It started with a new birth.

Dawn and I pulled up outside our daughter Bailey's house expecting to spend some time with her. as she opened the door her waters unexpectedly broke!

And to cut a magnificent story short,

Clark William Warner was born a few hours later.

As quick as that.

And,

He is gorgeous.

Then I have had a fantastic weeks writing on my book, one of those weeks  where the text flows from your heart at breakneck speed. Only a couple of months work to do until it is more or less complete.

Dawn and I also managed to visit Winsford SA Corps where Dawn has been appointed Pastor.We met with a few people and they made us feel so welcomed. They were so nice to us we could almost eat them.  We are so looking forward to swapping the intensity of the City of London for the Cheshire countryside. We have had three major challenges in our Officership, and we are excited by the challenge ahead for Dawn in the coming years.

For me, my own ministry is developing brilliantly under God's direction. And I know he is positioning me back in the North for some major Kingdom opportunities, so I'm busy trying to secure some part time work to aid me a bit in my ministry. So please pray for me in that quest.

Anyway back to the baby!

I got to hold him for the longest time.

He was hours old.

I was being careful and gentle and saying all that daft baby stuff like you do, when God showed me something.

He showed me, well, me.

How far I've come lately.

I was trapped by the damage that some of my experiences as an officer had inflicted on me so badly. I had really forgotten how to live, how to love life, and how to love myself basically. Yet as I sat with my new grandson in my arms I could have wept because I saw how God had held me through that mess inflicted by different people who may be leaders but are really clueless and lost.

And,

I realised something brilliant!

I've finally come out the other end.

I am finally free.

Living in the freedom Jesus won for me on the cross.

It's taken a long time to recover from the wounds inflicted by people who were meant to care for me.

But.

My life is now spacious and full again.

I'm stronger.

Rehabilitated.

Fresh and ready for the fight again.

I think that's why I'm looking forward to a new start in Cheshire. Its spacious and open, and, as much as I have loved London, which I have and always will, I have felt a bit claustrophobic lately, like the City is closing in on me.

And,

That reflects just what God has done lately in my life, he has brought me into a spacious place where I can move and breathe and spend my new healing well, He has brought me there from a place where the ungodliness of religious rules and regulations closed in on me and strangled my Officership to death.

Yeah,

I'm ready.

Ready to help people to know a God who holds us all in his arms no matter what is happening in our lives.