Shifting the balance

Finding solace in a bacon sandwich and a coffee was the last thing I expected today.

But that's what happened.

I went in to S21 this morning with the best of intentions. I went in ready to face up to whatever God would have me do today.

But it wasn't a good morning at the office.

Not good at all.

So I did something I don't normally do.

I just gave up on it this morning.

Put my iPad in my backpack.

Put my coat on.

And headed for the coffee house in Durham.

For the rest of the day!

And I got myself a bacon sandwich and a coffee.

And they tasted good.

And I suddenly felt the life draining back into me.

I'm glad I hit the coffee house because it has given me a couple of hours to just reflect, work a couple of things through in my head, and most importantly, pray.

The pressures of ministry hit me this morning.

I was having one of those mornings where you actually wonder whether your ministry is making any difference to anyone's life. Whether its making any difference to my own life even. I've been feeling lately that I am beginning to be desperate for a new challenge. So anything right now that crops up that is remotely difficult to handle seems to just intensify those totally negative feelings.

Then just before I walked out of the door of S21 with my backpack on and a temptation in my heart to just walk right on out of officership forever (sounds dramatic doesn't it? It wasn't that dramatic really) a lady called out to me from the prayer room.

She said she had been praying and had felt God ask her to write something to me. (I hadn't seen her that morning and didn't know she was in the prayer room.)

This is what she wrote.

"Gaz

I really want to thank you today for the day you were at the prayer hatch at Sanctuary 21 just when I needed the connection that would be a ladder to Heaven. That was a couple of years ago maybe, but praying in the Sanctuary today saw the prayer hatch again. I remembered you, your faithfulness, your help, and I knew I had to thank you. Even if I have before. Thank you, thank you, thank you. In Jesus name, hallelujah. Gaz, let all the striving cease and the pain be released in the blessed name of the the Messiah. Lynda."

She wrote it on a piece of green card.

My mind went back to that very day.

Lynda had lost her husband on that very day. I was manning the prayer hatch out on to the street.

She came and wept, and we prayed and I gave her some words of comfort.

She has been coming to S21 to pray ever since.

And as I took my first bite of my very comforting hot bacon sandwich today, I had just read this message that she had just placed in my hand. My countenance lifted. The heaviness seemed to just jog on.

I guess God had used me to make a difference in this lady's life?

And I thought to myself how timely that message was.

Just when I thought I may have had enough really.

When stuff like that happens?

Something or someone seems to come along to shift the balance a little.

It made me smile (and cry) today.

It also reminded me that God is around.

All of the time.

With his hand out ready to rescue us from whatever.

Whenever.

And he is always ready to remind us we can all make a difference to someone.

However we feel.