Richard had all his worldly belongings with him.
A back pack, a bag of DVDs, and a digital set top box.
"I'm not going back to that place!" He declared with certainty. "I homeless again now."
I got him to come to the cafe in S21 with me. I got us each a cup off coffee. I asked Richard to tell me what was going on with him.
I've spoke about Richard a few times on my blog, so many of you will know that I have had a roller coaster of a ride since the day I first met him. A catalogue of ups and downs as I've tried to hang in with him on a part of his journey.
"The person who lives below me in the shelter is annoying me. I can't stand the noise." This was his reasoning behind leaving.
I talked to him for two hours. I rang the shelter where he lives, got them to talk to him. After a real battle I managed to persuade Richard not leave the accommodation.
And he's still there a week later so I'm relieved.
This describes the kind of occurrence in a typical day at Sanctuary 21.
This week I've also been to Crown Court as a witness in a case. I unfortunately had no choice as I witnessed something and filled a statement out so I literally had to go. It was the most horrible experience ever. One of the other witnesses was a young girl who comes into Sanctuary 21 who is really struggling with addictions and some mental illness. When the court dismissed me, she was still waiting to go on the stand. She looked at me with pleading eyes to stay and support her in the witness room where we were waiting with a witness care officer. She was a mess on the inside and on the outside. All I wanted to do was to get out of there. But her pleading eyes sent their strong signal straight to my all too soft heart. The legal team thought it would be a good idea if I stayed. So when she gave her witness, I went into the public gallery so she would see someone she knew. Then when it was over I had a cup of tea with her in the witness room before she went.
I decided to walk back to Sanctuary 21 from the court. I needed some fresh air. It was raining heavily, but I didn't care. As I walked back I wondered why I do this? This last six months has seemed to me to be one humongous battle.
But I've hung in.
I don't know how.
But I have.
As I walked through the rain drenched streets of Durham, the rain somehow enhancing the beauty of the old English University City, my mind kept on seeing these two occurrences I've just told you about, Richard and the young girl. And as I thought about the fact that I've hung in, I began to see the simple answer that God was showing me to my question of why do I do this? All the flack I get in ministry. All the toughness of the last six months in particular. Why? Why do this? There must be a thousand better things I could be doing? Then I saw Richards pleading face and the young girl in the courts pleading eyes, and I suddenly had an answer to that.
The answer was that "You do it Gary because I need you to hang in with the lost and the broken." And I began to see that actually there is nothing on this earth I would rather be doing than being there for people who are living with no hope in their hearts. As hard as ministry is sometimes. And I understood that "hanging in" is an essential part of mission. In other words not giving up on anybody. Not giving up on yourself even.
I said earlier in this post that I don't know how I've survived ministry in the last six months? Well, that's not quite right.
I do know.
It's the strength that the Spirit of God supplies the human mind, body and soul.
And as I prepare to leave Durham, and Sanctuary 21, a place we planted from scratch, and head for West London, I feel strong. I feel somehow God has allowed this intense battle I've been through to prepare me for something special there in that famous City. And I really know that there will be a lot of hanging in with people when I get there. A lot of victories waiting to be won, and God is sending us to show us his power like never before.
I'm ready to go, as hard as it will be to leave Durham and let go of S21.
Ready for London.
Talking of hanging in.
As I write this post a guy has just banged on the coffee shop window and give me the thumbs up. It's another one of the people we have hung in with, we've seen very little shift in his life, his life of drugs and crime, but he loves to come to Sanctuary 21, he had a big toothless smile on his face and shouted so the whole coffee shop heard, "I hope the soup's better than yesterday!"
As I gave him the thumbs up back, my spirits raised up a notch further. And the Spirit of God whispered, "Who will go for me Gary?" And I had to reply in my Spirit, yeah that'll be me Lord."
Just a reminder today that it is so vital to hang in with ourselves and other people, even when there is slow or even seemingly no progress, there is a world out there that desperately needs us too.
It may be the way they will meet a saviour?
It may be the way we will meet the saviour?
Blessings today
