Power.
The waves hit me hard.
Sheer relentless power. Wave after wave after wave.
Relentless.
Brilliant white foam transforms the scene as the waves build their majestic crests on the run in to the crystal sand beach.
I am standing alone in the Mediterranean Sea.
A big sea.
A beautiful sea.
35 degrees Celsius. Clear sky, burning sun. There was a breeze which had raised its ferocity over a short space of time. It caused the waves to increase in size and power.
I stood alone.
I let the waves hit me.
Hard.
I have decisions to make.
Big decisions.
My mind is alive with the options I have in terms of those decisions. The consequences, the benefits, the losses and the gains. The fruits and the stuff that will be cut away.
Big decisions.
So I'm standing in the sea.
The waves hitting me hard.
I cry out to God.
I need to hear from Him.
I really do.
I don't literally hear his voice.
Even though I search for it.
On the wind.
In the crashing of the sea.
I struggle to hear him. To feel him. To know he is there.
But my eyes focus on the vastness beyond.
The vast open sea. Glistening, flashing its silver glints in every direction. A vast open endless ocean.
I see his voice in that.
I see.
I see the vastness. There is more to life that this. There is more to ministry than this. I sense the infinite, the force of an endless God, endless in terms of time, endless in terms of Spirit, and endless in terms of grace and love.
Even though on this occasion I am really clinging to him by the tips of my very life, his endlessness, his infinity grab me by the wrists and rescue me from the brink of letting go.
I stand alone.
In the sea.
The waves hitting me hard.
But beyond my pitiful faith, I sense I'm not standing alone.
No.
In the vast scope of the sea I can see the dreams I have, the visions I've had, the opportunities that lay ahead, are all in the vastness of the love of God.
I have decisions to make.
Bit I am somehow a little closer to resolve.
Because whatever I decide about my future.
Whatever.
The infinite love, mercy and grace of God, goes beyond everything I humanly hold. So whatever I do, which ever way I choose, Gods love will never change.
And.
He will always be there.
