The thick heat of London, a heat with virtually no air and a strong humidity helped me to slow my walking pace down a little.
I was in a rush to get to the Sanctuary.
Lately, I have taken to being drawn the two miles from our house to the house of prayer that my wife Dawn and I oversee.
Its a unfathomable thing.
I get sudden urges at the strangest times to just go and be alone with God.
And last night around 7 pm as I walked through the oppressive humid London air I was extra keen to get there.
This week has been a mixed bag of emotions really. Early on in the week I travelled to Canterbury to speak alongside my Friend and fellow warrior Lyndall Bywater in two seminars that were being filmed for a Salvation Army DVD coming out next year on prayer. I also got to share with Dawn at Cityspace , Canterbury Boiler Room with the amazing community there, it felt good to be teaching and sharing in a different city.
Then.
Even as we drove home in the car, my spirits dropped like a stone.
The weight of planting a prayer centre and raising a prayer community in Ealing just hit me.
It hit me from nowhere.
My mind was ravaged with an attack that ranged from you are a hopeless preacher to you'll never build something fresh in West London.
The attack intensified when a friend gave me the heads up that someone was heavily criticizing Dawn and I and Prayer centres in general on a quaint little Facebook page called something like, "Old Army halls and buildings."
Then.
For the whole day yesterday I struggled to lift my myself up, and even worse I struggled to pray which I knew I needed to do. That was so ironic when I had just taught a seminar on obstacles that get in the way of a lifestyle of prayer!
Hence my rush to be at the Sanctuary last night.
I wasn't drawn there like I have been lately. I just knew I had to push through and pray immediately despite how I was feeling.
The Sanctuary was cool and quiet.
I headed to prayer room 2 yet to be used officially. Over the window in that prayer room is a sign. It quotes John 3:30 which simply says, "He must become greater, I must become less."
As I read it, before I had even started to pray, I was stunned into a state of peace.
It doesn't happen as often as I would like, but this stunned into peace thing happens when God needs my immediate attention.
And.
I was listening.
And something became clear.
All day I had been attacked. And I had got sucked in to just focussing on me. I was putting a lot of me into my uncomfortable day, and not much of God.
All those thoughts of "I cant do this," and "I'm hopeless," alongside much worse negative thoughts were Godless in their character.
God is greater!
He must become greater.
We have to allow His greatness to be the truth in our lives.
And.
In his greatness he has the future of my life in his hands.
I just need to get out of the way a little.
As I lessened my self from my feelings and allowed God to be greater, my confidence rose considerably to the point where I could just pray for those who criticize my ministry and feel love for them, where I could rest in the fact that God absolutely doesn't think I'm hopeless, and know that he has the future of Sanctuary West London in his hands too.
So if there's any of you guys out there who are relating to the sorry state I got myself in yesterday. Then have ears to listen.
He must be greater, I must become less.
Pray through the pain barrier.
Allow God's greatness to assure you of a solid future.
Where he is greater, greater things will be yet to come through us as we try to reach this world for Him.
Blessings.
I was in a rush to get to the Sanctuary.
Lately, I have taken to being drawn the two miles from our house to the house of prayer that my wife Dawn and I oversee.
Its a unfathomable thing.
I get sudden urges at the strangest times to just go and be alone with God.
And last night around 7 pm as I walked through the oppressive humid London air I was extra keen to get there.
This week has been a mixed bag of emotions really. Early on in the week I travelled to Canterbury to speak alongside my Friend and fellow warrior Lyndall Bywater in two seminars that were being filmed for a Salvation Army DVD coming out next year on prayer. I also got to share with Dawn at Cityspace , Canterbury Boiler Room with the amazing community there, it felt good to be teaching and sharing in a different city.
Then.
Even as we drove home in the car, my spirits dropped like a stone.
The weight of planting a prayer centre and raising a prayer community in Ealing just hit me.
It hit me from nowhere.
My mind was ravaged with an attack that ranged from you are a hopeless preacher to you'll never build something fresh in West London.
The attack intensified when a friend gave me the heads up that someone was heavily criticizing Dawn and I and Prayer centres in general on a quaint little Facebook page called something like, "Old Army halls and buildings."
Then.
For the whole day yesterday I struggled to lift my myself up, and even worse I struggled to pray which I knew I needed to do. That was so ironic when I had just taught a seminar on obstacles that get in the way of a lifestyle of prayer!
Hence my rush to be at the Sanctuary last night.
I wasn't drawn there like I have been lately. I just knew I had to push through and pray immediately despite how I was feeling.
The Sanctuary was cool and quiet.
I headed to prayer room 2 yet to be used officially. Over the window in that prayer room is a sign. It quotes John 3:30 which simply says, "He must become greater, I must become less."
As I read it, before I had even started to pray, I was stunned into a state of peace.
It doesn't happen as often as I would like, but this stunned into peace thing happens when God needs my immediate attention.
And.
I was listening.
And something became clear.
All day I had been attacked. And I had got sucked in to just focussing on me. I was putting a lot of me into my uncomfortable day, and not much of God.
All those thoughts of "I cant do this," and "I'm hopeless," alongside much worse negative thoughts were Godless in their character.
God is greater!
He must become greater.
We have to allow His greatness to be the truth in our lives.
And.
In his greatness he has the future of my life in his hands.
I just need to get out of the way a little.
As I lessened my self from my feelings and allowed God to be greater, my confidence rose considerably to the point where I could just pray for those who criticize my ministry and feel love for them, where I could rest in the fact that God absolutely doesn't think I'm hopeless, and know that he has the future of Sanctuary West London in his hands too.
So if there's any of you guys out there who are relating to the sorry state I got myself in yesterday. Then have ears to listen.
He must be greater, I must become less.
Pray through the pain barrier.
Allow God's greatness to assure you of a solid future.
Where he is greater, greater things will be yet to come through us as we try to reach this world for Him.
Blessings.
