Guys
I've been resting from writing for a while.
But this blog post marks a return to the blog posts!
With a new approach.
Watch out for a new post every Thursday.
Without going to deep and two extensive which will probably
bore the pants off you, I’ve been through a titanic struggle this last year! I’ve
experienced all the side effects of the intensity of spiritual battle including
depression, melancholy and listlessness! A nasty bunch of things!
So I've had intense prayer, counselling and treatment from
the doctor.
I nearly resigned from officership!
I just wanted to get home to the greatest city in the world
which is my home Liverpool!
I cancelled speaking engagements, stopped writing, and
stopped communicating!
Life has been rubbish.
But.
Today?
I’m back!
Feeling sharp.
Grasping a new perspective.
And.
Recovering a ministry that felt like it was disappearing down
the pan.
In the dark times.
Something mad happened.
Dawn and I went and got a puppy!
He is tiny and his name is Jake.
He’s literally helped me!
I’m not sure how theological a dog being sent by God is, but
he has really helped me to get strong!
My counselor has helped me too!
I used to pour scorn on counselling thinking it doesn't really
help as only Jesus has the answers.
But.
I will never deny the intensity of enablement that talking
things through with a professional counselor has opened up my heart and mind
to see where there is damage in my life.
It’s helped me to get my life out on the table and have a long
look at it!
It didn't look all that nice at times.
I’ll not bore you with all of that!
Although it is pretty juicy!
Believe me!
That stuff would make for a pretty riveting read!
But.
For the sake of my reputation and dignity I’ll stick with
the bottom line to give you a picture of where I've been hurt.
Basically?
I've lost myself.
I've tried to be anyone but the Gary I am meant to be.
Also.
I had some mental and spiritual damage as a child that made
me pretty fearful.
But another part of me has grown up into an adult.
But the damaged child in me rears his head often. The outcome
of which means he reacts out of fear.
But.
The responsible adult Gary has not been looking after the
damaged child in me.
This is where Jake the puppy comes in!
I've really fell in love with him!
And in caring for him, walking him, cleaning up after him,
sitting with him sleeping on my knee, playing with him, I've somehow learned to
apply the same care to the damaged child within me.
And.
Something really clicked within my heart.
The responsible adult has got stronger!
I’m feeling alive again!
I feel like I’m rediscovering the true nature of Gary.
More than that.
I've rediscovered the true nature of God.
Who I understand truly loves me, even if others don’t. even
if enemies rally against me.
Jesus loves me.
So I look forward to writing again!
I look forward to a new direction in life right now.
I look forward to being a part of God’s mission to this
world.
So keep tuning in to my blog!
Thank you for all your prayers and kind words during this immensely
difficult time.
You are amazing.
Gaz
