Crushed

The weight of the world crushed me.

I couldn't breathe

I couldn't see

I couldn't hear

Anything.

The crush was total, brutal and suffocating.

Blackness came,

I felt I may well die.

Yet out of the corner of my eye I could always see a chink of light.

A sliver I hope in a sea of hopelessness.

And

For all the weight of the crush,

In spite of the blinding darkness,

I held my gaze on that needle hole of light.

I focussed solely on that tiny piece of hope.

That chink of light held all of the good things that I had to look forward to

A new identity

A new approach to life

A whole new vision that would lead to quiet blissfulness and contentment.

As I concentrated on that light

It began to get bigger.

The crush lessened.

The pitch blackness greyed up.

More and more light poured in

More and more weight lifted from me.

You may feel crushed

You feel shrouded in darkness

But there is always a chink of hope

Aa hard as it is to do

Look at the light

Take the hope.

A beautiful life is waiting to be grasped.

I wrote this this morning. I was sipping my hot black coffee just reflecting on my journey up until now.

I haven't wrote for about a year.

I have had to go through a year or two of fighting to recover from what I experienced as a Salvation Army Officer.

The Salvation Army UK leadership crushed me. Their sad focus on their own sorry progressions meant that they made sure that anyone who threatened that progression needed to be crushed. I have been kind to them despite the total lack of compassion, respect and love. But now I have been able to shake the dust off my feet and finally be in a place where I am free of those sad people for ever. I can only pray for them now.
Some of the wounds they inflicted on me mentally would make you wince if you knew the truth of how they were administered to me.

But

Enough

It feels fantastic to be able to speak about that now.

The bitterness has all but gone.

I started writing this just as a personal note to self.

But

God intervened and reminded me that I hadn't wrote for such a long time on my blog.

I felt a serious prompt to publish this today.

And

I want to encourage whoever feels crushed by whatever today, that there is always light. People may crush you, but they cant win. Hold on to that chink of light. Focus on it. I don't deny there is an easy fix for a wounded soul.

But

There is a fix.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities. The punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5)

Yeah

That's the light in talking about.

By his stripes we are healed.