But
All was not lost!
I suddenly heard the gentle voice of God whisper in my ear, “Hey Gaz, you think that puzzle is hard? I had to put you back together!”
It was one of those moments where God and I had a little fun and a little ironic chuckle together.
Five years ago, I was completely broken, depressed and revelling in self-pity, blaming every Tom, Dick and Harry for my demise and feeling like I would never recover from that point in my life.
I was so broken; it was not looking good for my future.
A series of bad episodes in the series of life served to smash me apart into a thousand pieces.
It really did feel like the point of no return!
Fast forward!
To today. (Sunday 16th August 2020)
A trip to our building in the centre of Manchester!
To worship and pray both in the building and in the City Centre.
We were marvelling at the promises of God especially related to prayer.
Just Dawn and I as we are still closed due to the pandemic.
Dawn read me a scripture.
Mark 11: 22-25
“Then Jesus said to the disciples, “Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown in the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you, you can pray for anything, and you have believed that you have received it, it will be yours. But, when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your father in Heaven will forgive your sins too.”
As I heard those words, about first forgiving and not holding a grudge against anyone, I was washed with a warm calm directly from the air as the Holy Spirit opened my mind.
Five years ago, when I was so broken, I wasn’t really allowing God to fix me up, to put me back together, because I was definitely harbouring some unforgiveness and held grudges against a few people who had hurt me.
No wonder I found it hard to pray, to trust God, to receive prayer from people and to feel I was heading towards restoration.
But
A few years ago, I came to a point where I was walking straight down a slippery road towards a town called oblivion. I do not know how, but the Lord stepped into the road with a halt sign. He showed me how unforgiveness and the holding of grudges was devastating to my life. He also showed me that I had complete authority to stop, turn around and head back towards freedom.
And
This morning
In the quietness of MC Hall.
I revelled in the peace that I have. In that warm calm of the Spirit I could say with complete honesty that I hold nothing against anyone.
I praise God for that.
He has put the thousand broken pieces of me back together. (And he didn’t get bored or give up on me!)
So
As I minister to so many who struggle to get beyond the hurt that they have endured in their personal life, I know how hard it is to forgive and to let go.
Hey, I really do know.
And
Hey, the only way to turn that around is to say out loud “I forgive you and I am letting you go!”
But
I felt compelled to write this today, so I am assuming that someone out there is in the broken stage right now.
Well please listen.
God wants to put you back together. He is desperate to do that. So listen. Allow him to do that. Just lay that unforgiveness and the hurt, and the person or people who you are really struggling to let go of a grudge, even when it so obviously is their fault right at the foot of the cross. Allow Jesus to heal you, put you back together and move you into a brand-new state of mind and heart.
Don't delay
Life is way to short
Live it!
Hey so many blessings to you this day.
