Isolation

You would never believe it but it is snowing again! I feel like I am living in the Antarctica or something! We have already had to dig ourselves out of the house a few times in November and here we are again. The North East of England is officially been taken over by the government of the Arctic, if there is a government in that area!

And it all adds to the feeling of isolation that Dawn and I have had up here since the day we drove over the hill into the village of Sacriston to take up our new appointment in Durham.

It's a strange feeling. There are such lovely people up here, and we have seen some amazing things in our time here,  but Dawn and I just don't feel it is home for us. 

And we long to get back to metropolitan life, we love city life, we operate better there, we always are able to feel at home there. 

So why are we here?

Well I guess we are here to do work for God and the kingdom. 

We know that but it is so hard. So soul destroying, so draining spiritually, in fact I feel like the spiritual fire that was inside me when I first came is disappearing  rapidly and all that is left are very slightly glowing embers as I hold on to the Rock of my Salvation with my fingertips. 

This place has been a spiritual dessert for me. And the harsh realities of the way that the Salvation Army has been ravaged by years of inward actions is right in your face.

Yet in those embers that are just about glowing, in the glowy bits, lies a deep passion, first of all for God and the Kingdom, and secondly for the Salvation Army and it's mission. One thing I really do believe is that there is massive work for the Salvation Army to do. Kingdom work, loving the poor and the broken, the dying, the sick and the needy. 

The Salvation Army may have been ravaged by inward actions, and it's High time we were really honest about that, but there is hope, because Jesus is in the midst of it and wants it to succeed in it's mission and there are so many amazing people in it's ranks who have gifts beyond their understanding and passions deep in our souls that are just bursting to explode onto the mission field. 

There is massive hope in amongst the wilderness.

People close to me say that this wilderness experience will he essential for the future that Dawn and I have, but do you know what? It really doesn't feel like it at the moment, and day after day I struggle to get through this experience. I'm not a village person, I hate tractors, I get sick of looking at fields, and I have no particular feelings towards sheep! 

Yet I have to keep focused that God has a purpose for us being here. I have to keep focused on the fact that we won't be here for ever, and the day is coming soon where I am sure we will back to city life. 

But even though at times I am just clinging to God, holding on to my spiritual life with all my might, I do know that God understands and is around me.

The God of Justice, the God of peace, the God of transformation.