In the queue was Richard.
Homeless for so long.
Got him fixed up with shelter a while back.
Don't think he's going back there much by the look of him this morning.
He was drunk.
But not as drunk as I've seen him.
He had been in the hospital since 4am because he had called an ambulance for another local vagrant, who has cancer, who was so ill that he couldn't get up off the floor.
I looked at Richard.
He still has the hoodie on I gave him last Christmas. I gave it him off my own back because he was so cold one night last Christmas, so cold that his ears were a shocking mixture of colours, a kind of grey, blue, navy, purple colour.
It is a hoodie with a Salvation Army Red Shield badge emblazoned on the front.
This hoodie has caused me so much grief this year.
I've already shared on my blog, how in the summer, someone came running into S21 shouting, "Gary, one of your soldiers is drunk on the street and can't get up."
About five times I've had Salvationists from other places maybe visiting Durham for the day, and deciding to pay S21 a visit, telling me how wrong I am to allow him to wear the hoodie, one lady speaking out a classic statement, "It is an insult to the uniform to allow a drunkard to wear something with our crest on"
I gave it him because his ears were blue.
I gave it him because he was sleeping in a dirty rat-infested doorway in minus 10 degree weather.
I gave it him because he needed the hood around his ears.
I gave it him because he was desperately cold.
I gave it him because I didn't want him literally freezing to death.
I wasn't thinking, "Oh, this hoodie may insult the uniform, I'd better not give him it"
It was all I could give him, to help him right there and then.
So here he was this morning nearly a year later. Drunk again, still wearing the hoodie, coming for his soup.
As he sat down he began to cry.
He had already lost his friend, who he knocked about with on the street last year. He died in a bus shelter.
His new mate was now in hospital and probably won't be making it out of there.
Richards own life was laying heavy on him this morning.
I got him a coffee and let him settle, then we talked.
He said something profoundly moving.
"I looked at this badge on my hoodie today it reminded me of all the kindness I've been shown by the people at Sanctuary 21. It reminded me of the time you gave it me when I was cold. It reminded me that my life needs to be different. I can't carry on like this. I'm going to die too. And I don't want to. At least looking at this badge helps me to believe I have something to live for."
I thought of those words spoken by a lady that day, "you shouldn't let him wear that, it's an insult to the uniform."
It so stirred something up in me I felt like sharing it today.
It stirred up an anger.
But I'm not writing this in anger.
No not at all.
I write it just at the point the anger has subsided into sadness.
The times I hear all these crazy opinions on the Salvation Army and uniform. "We should wear it, No we shouldn't wear it, that kind of thing.
You know.
Hats or no hats.
Suit or T-shirt!
That kind if thing.
I can show you people who have left because of those arguments.
I can show you people who have been really wounded by those discussions.
I am frightened by the preciousness there still seems to be floating about the Salvation Army about a thing such as simple as what people should wear.
I have my own thoughts on it, but won't share them because it just adds to the daft war of the clothes war.
No.
I'll try my best to keep focussed on those who desperately need a saviour.
If I've insulted the uniform I am really and truly sorry.
I really mean that.
But it seems that God is using that black hoodie with a shield on it to speak to Richard, a guy who is so broken and lost its frightening.
Whatever your views are about wearing a uniform? One thing I would say is, and I'm speaking to myself too, we had better make sure we are serious about why we wear it, and it had better be about spiritual reasons only, otherwise believe me we look pretty daft in suits that look like they are from the shop that time forgot.
I'm pretty sure it is time to throw all we have into our mission and not spend hours getting frustrated about what everyone is wearing or not wearing.
I am so glad that Richard is wearing the Army shield on his chest. It reminds him of the unconditional love of Jesus working through the unconditional love of his children.
It also reminds me this morning that the only fight I should involve myself in is the fight for the lives of those who feel they are without hope.
That's why I choose to be a part of the Salvation Army.
That's the fight I'm going to focus on.
That's the cause, to fight for justice and to rescue the lost.
I pray that will be the only fight the Salvation Army worldwide will focus all its resources on.
I really do.
PS.
I also ask if you have a spare moment, that you would pray for Richard. He's right he is in constant danger from the alcoholism. We are really praying hard
And doing what we can to save him. But could do with some extra prayers going up. Thanks guys. Gaz
