For the brave (Christmas blog post)

This year I've gone crazy for books.

I have read loads.

Over the last few days I treated myself to a classic.

Dickens to be exact

A Christmas Carol.

A massive contrast to my recent brushings with Lee Child and Dan Brown amongst others.

I've been reading like mad to help dull the pain of a difficult period in my life where I am assessing where I've been, where I am now and where am I going in the future.

Hence this.

A Christmas carol got me thinking.

You know the three ghosts.

Christmas past, Christmas present, and Christmas yet to come.

Weird little apparitions that give Ebenezer Scrooge a tough time of it yet they ultimately helped him to change for the better..

when I finished the book I had this bizarre little vision of me decorating three Christmas trees.

Each tree represented Christmas past, Christmas present and Christmas yet to come.

I was decorating them with stuff.

Stuff from the past.

Stuff from the present.

Stuff yet to come.

I think I might even do that next year.

The past included stuff like my my Jobs including my relationships, my successes, my failures, my hurts, my joys, my disasters, my mistakes, the stuff I got right, all kinds of stuff.

The present was difficult to decorate. There are some really good things, but I've been a bit disillusioned and unhappy lately, feeling I am not heading towards realising my hopes and dreams. I feel stripped of them in many ways and restricted by circumstance and the bad side of religion. So the tree looked a little drab.

Yet to come? My hopes and dreams don't seem to fit with where I am in my life right now. I feel restricted and a bit trapped at times in my ministry. Yet the decorating seemed to help me focus a bit more on what is possible for my life. As I decorated it I laid on a lashing of tinsel. written in the tinsel was the word bravery.

That was it.

I want my bravery back.

Yet to come looked kind of much brighter than the others.

I thought of the change in Scrooge.

I thought.

That's what I need.

Change.

The heart of the whole gospel is change.

Change.

Change takes bravery.

As I imagined  decorating the future tree, Christmas yet to come, I began to long for change, in myself, in my life, in my direction. I need to be myself, not someone others wants me to be.

Dawn was preparing for a talk at church last week and she was using that amazing song mary did you know.

As I was listening to the song as she was preparing a line hit me.

Mary did you know your baby boy has come to make you new.

I focused on the birth of Jesus.

Born to make me new.

I thought of the things that surfaced in my character when Jesus made me new.

I was brave. prepared to take a chance, a risk, enjoyed being chancy even when I failed. That bravery has helped us to work on Gods plan and plant three churches from scratch. But lately working in my denomination I really believe that my bravery is being stolen. By a system that wants me to be like them. A system that wants me to just accept strict boundaries despite of who I am. My character is just not wired up like that. I want to be myself not some generic robotic leader who a denomination feels I should be.

I want to rediscover my uniqueness.

i have to be myself.

That takes bravery.

My prayer, my desire, my aim from now on is to be myself.

Christmas began to look better.

I've changed massively over the years since giving myself to Jesus.

Yet I need him to make me new again right now.

I need change.

I need to be brave.

I will be brave.

I need newness more than ever.

A new future.

Christmas is a great reminder of the new.

Christmas is a great pointer to change.

Christmas is a time where the past is past away, the present is worth reflecting on and the time yet to come can be glimpsed.

If you had those same three trees to decorate, what would you put on them?

what is past, what is present, what is yet to come?

I pray this Christmas will be special for you. I pray you will be blessed and you will be touched not by the magic of the season but by the Spirit of God.

I pray bravery all over your life.

And.

My message to you is this for what it is worth to you right now.

Don't be afraid to be brave. If there are things that need to change, change them, If there are desires that need to be fulfilled fulfil them, If the is vision in your heart then pursue it. Do not settle for being like someone or something wants you to be like.

Be you.

Do all of this despite what others say.

And I pray that will mean?

Change.

And.

A dramatic realisation of your dreams in the time yet to come.

Thank you for your encouragement, comments and kind words about my blog this year. I pray you've been challenged and blessed.

Have a great Christmas

Gaz

Tiger

The cool of the autumn was invaded by a late October sun.

The colours that Autumn naturally produces have an ability to warm the soul. 

I sit in amongst it and wonder at the splendour of it all. It evokes a spacious feeling inside my mind. Autumn seems to give me space to think and reflect. 

Osterley Park London, it's hard to believe I'm in urban Hounslow. It's a country park in the City. Autumn has blessed it with the majesty of the season. 

And. 

I am clear. 

A moment of clarity in the midst of the fastness of this city, this ministry, and my life. 

I am fully aware that I am not alone. 

God is close. 

Protecting me. 

Surrounding me. 

In the clarity I glimpse the way ahead.

Some decisions lay close. 

Change has to be.  

I need to get past the tiger in the room. 

That is utterly possible. 

For the first time in a long time, I see that is definitely possible. 

The tiger in the room. 

In the world of counselling I believe that "the tiger in the room" seems to be talked about as those things that seem to be blocking the way forward. Those things that seem so ferocious. Those things we think will attack us if we get too close.  

They get in the way. 

So we stay where we are. Or worse retreat back into the oldness of life. 

I see that is where I have been standing lately.

A bit too fearful of the tiger in the room.  

Somehow that has become clear in the autumn splendour. 

I haven't wrote much on my blog lately.  

I've been kind of retreating back a bit. 

But here. 

Now. 

I'm ready to become unstuck.

To start forward again.

It's not going to be easy. 

But I feel a divine reassurance today. 

It's true. 

Anything and everything is possible with God. 

So. 

Anyone feeling a bit stuck out there?

Feeling like the way forward is blocked?

It could be the tiger in the room. 

Could be fear of telling people, could be fear of letting people down. Whatever.

Have a think.

See if you can identify those tigers.

They are just tigers. Only not really there!

Just give it to God. 

With God you can walk past them. 

You really can. 

Dry Lands

It was never going to be easy.

Ministry.

Don't get me wrong, there are times of great reward, joy and favour.

I'm not going to lie to you though.

There are times of extreme dryness, where one feels alone and abandoned.

My scripture this morning is important to me right now.

Psalm 63:1

(A Psalm of David, when he was in the desert of Judah) You, God, are my God. Earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land. where there is no water.

A desert.

Hot.

Dry.

Devoid of any useful living thing.

No water.

I honestly have felt that lately. I didn't want to plant another prayer centre. Before we moved to London I dreamed of not doing any planting or Corps work in the Salvation Army at this stage of my officership. I am tired of the hard work of planting into dry, parched land, and genuinely am ready for a different type of challenge. I can't see myself overseeing a corps at this stage either. Both Dawn and I were ready to lay the vision we have carried down for others to pick up and carry forward. In my spirit I know I am ready for a change in my leadership direction.

That is what Gary feels and desires.

Yet.

I am here.

Planting the third prayer centre of my officership.

And.

It has been the hardest yet.

We came to a dry, parched, land.

A genuine spiritual desert.

And yet.

Dawn and I, despite the Salvation Army not listening to us in terms of our readiness to grasp a hold of a new role and new things in leadership, and listen,  i'm not knocking them (The SA) for that as I believe others definitely listen to God too,  It's not just about Gary and Dawn! We were nevertheless able to stand in that dry land and say You, God, are my God.

And.

As we declared that and continue to earnestly seek him, as we thirst for him, he has began to rain down his living water on the dry ground here in Ealing.

Despite what Gary and Dawn might want, what God wants doesn't always line up with that.

We have been blessed here with some lovely people, who have joined us since the Corps has been realigned a little, people who have helped us to lay down a new direction, without them we couldn't have got to where we are right now, which is a little way down a journey that hopefully will now span decades. They are infectious and loving and have been like a refreshing rain in the dryness. We have been blessed by seeing the start of some serious transformation happening in peoples lives and that is the sensational love of God at work. We have seen the seeds of unity springing in the togetherness of the churches here in Ealing. Ive seen healing and restoration going on right here, right now.

This is water.

Living water.

Beginning to seep into the dry, parched land.

The thing is.

Even though I am tired of this type of ministry and probably do need at some stage to move into something different, God is still working. God is still moving. God is still carrying out His massive life saving plan on this earth. Despite what I feel or whether I am enjoying my ministry or not, he continues to astonish us with his gift of love to this world.

And.

I have to believe he can use us right here, right now.

Despite my feeling.

Despite my feelings of needing a change.

God is always on the mission.

The key is?

Listen to Davids declaration in the Judah desert.

"You, God, are my God!!!

When we can say that with confidence, or even if we can say it when we are not feeling that confident, even when stuff around is not seemingly happening, then we have a chance!

Because God is the living water!

He is the refreshing rain.

He is our hope.

He is our sustenance in a dry, parched land.

Hey Gary why are you speaking like this on your blog I possibly hear you say?

Yeah.

Because?

This morning as I prayed alone in a very quiet upper prayer room. I reflected on this scripture. I stayed with it.

I had a picture, it could have been me, but I don't think it was, I saw someone in a very empty room sitting on a chair with their head in their hands.

There was a perspex shield on the window.

Outside there was an golden city gleaming in the distance.

It was etched on this persons face the longing to head towards that new place.

I felt the loneliness and the pain of this person who longed to head towards this city. But the perspex was strong and the door of the room was locked and there was a feeling of complete trappedness in the air. The spirit of God whispered into the air that  that the key to unlocking the door was the declaration. You, God, are my God! The declaration was freedom itself.

And I felt God say, "I need you to write this down Gaz"

It may well be there is someone out there who is feeling trapped by circumstance. There maybe someone who feels they are living in a dry land and feel so thirsty that you feel like you could die. There maybe someone who feels they are not being listened to? or that they are in the wrong job, the wrong place, the wrong relationship, the wrong ministry? There maybe someone who feels so far from God or vice versa, that the spiritual dryness is suffocating you.

God is always there!

Stand with me now and say this.

You God, are my God!

He is right there.

Living water.

The cool water of hope.

The refreshing water of life.

The sustaining water of God.

No matter how dry you are, no matter how devoid of blessing you feel, then cling to God.

Hold on with all your strength.

Hold on.

Hold on to the movement of God.

Earnestly seek him.

He will give us the desires of our hearts if we would only hold on to him.

Blessings. (Hope this helps someone today!)

Gaz

Forgiveness and Compassion

I'd only stepped out of the room for 5 minutes.

When I came back into the main room at Sanctuary West London, someone had stolen my laptop.

There was just an empty space where it had been!

Ten minutes earlier I had been working on the multi media for our service.

So I lost all that work.

No one saw who it was.

No one saw anything.

Its one of the hazards of working with some desperately troubled people.

Straight away?

I felt nothing but compassion.

I know some of the guys who come into our place are hopelessly gripped by the evils of homelessness, drugs addiction and alcoholism. This in turn means being lost in a world of crime and deception.

I've worked with people long enough now to know the things that people will do just to get money, just to feed an addiction.

I was reminded of the day in Durham where I was threatened with a knife by someone we had showed the love of Jesus to. He ultimately went to prison for the offence. But I remember the day he came back and said, "Gaz, can I come back in I'm really hungry." I remember how my heart just reached out to him, and I said "of course you can mate." I saw a flicker of light come into his sad dead eyes.

Those words in a worship song that start with "Everyone needs compassion," Are so real and so true.

I was thinking this morning as I pray, how forgiveness and compassion are key components of justice.

How they open up the arms of Jesus to those who are wounded and broken.

In this world right now where talk of  bombing  raids, murder, war, and so many other horrific things seem to dominate everything. Where Justice seems to mean different things to different nations, people, and even religions, the words "everyone needs compassion" pierce the gloom of that with hurricane type force. Forgiveness and compassion ultimately are the only things that can successfully turn this world around.

Why.

Because they are the ultimate messages that flow from the blood of Jesus, that flow from the cross, that flow from the heart of Jesus himself.

Jesus lights up dead eyes.

Jesus is hope.

Jesus is indeed the answer to a world gone mad.

So.

It really can start with us.

It really can.

If everyone needs compassion where are we in all that right now?

Come on where are we?

Are we carrying unforgiveness around?

Are we ready to show compassion to whoever?

These words just penetrated my mind as I pray this morning, "A repentance to Justice."

Repentance.

A big word.

A big thing.

It means turning away from sin.

Turning away from sin?

That is never going to be easy I know, believe me!

Forgiveness is the massive key in all of that and I think compassion is too.

Turning away from injustice to the justice of the kingdom.

If we really want to bring about the Justice system of Heaven to this earth, then I think it really starts with us.

In the simple things especially.

So whats holding you back?

Whats in the way?

If you know?

Do something today, do something now!

Turn away from it.

And we may just bring more of Gods justice to this world.

Sanctuary update 5

it was a busy day.

The Sanctuary opened early on Saturday and the people came in gradually during the morning.

Hospitality and Prayer working in complete harmony.

In came a new guy, sam, just released from prison after serving fourteen years.

He was a little drunk but not much, he needed just to talk.

He shared how he had messed up his whole life big time.

He said the only thing he wanted in this world was a new start, a new chance, a new existence. Dawn and I shared with him about the new starts that we had when we encountered Jesus. I could see in his eyes he wanted that. He's coming back on tuesday to talk further.

A new start.

It was almost prophetic confirmation of what was taking place this day.

It was the day of our official opening as a house of prayer.

The main event being a service of dedication and release at 7pm that very night.

The first thing was at 4pm members of our community gathered to prepare the hall for the night ahead. We had to move the cafe area to our lesser hall and create a theatre style seating arrangement in the main hall. Hard work that involved moving couches, chairs and tables, then shifting 100 chairs next door. As we worked I couldn't help thinking just how marvellous God actually is. We had hardly any people last year. It's just miraculous really.

People started to arrive around 5pm for a 7pm start.

Friends, people from our new community, colleagues from the Salvation Army, people from other Churches in Ealing and loads more came in their droves.

The event started at 7pm.

Worship was led by Sara Williams, the atmosphere being almost electric, as the presence of God surrounded us.

Our Divisional leader (Salvation Army) Paul Main then preached an amazing word on Ezekiel 37, reminding us that God always wins and that the truth of the matter is that dry bones can live as we connect with God.

I had to follow that with a glimpse of the vision for Sanctuary, in which I used a series of moving testimonies on screen from members of our new growing family at Sanctuary including homeless people, new volunteers, even a person who is one of the very few who stayed from the old Corps that was in Ealing. As I watched I could sense a series of disconnected bones beginning to come together as our new community is built by the breath of God. I used the scripture Psalm 127 Unless the Lord builds the house the builders labour in vain.

Then Divisional leader Jenine Main Led a time of declaration and dedication using Solomon's dedication of the temple as a backdrop to releasing us into a new phase of the life of Ealing Corps. This was the crux of why we have these dedicating events, to have our leaders bless this vision is of massive importance in the Heavenlies.

We finished on a nice note of praise as Sara led us to the throne of God with that amazing song everyone needs compassion (Mighty to save).

Then the tea started to flow and the cakes started to be eaten!

A new era begins.

As I sat down when the building was almost empty, tired but blessed, Anya came and sat by me. She had wandered in right at the end (She is the lady I spoke about in a previous post that lives in an elevator) She wanted some food. She said to me, "I can't even remember how my life got this bad, I want things to be different, I need a new start.

This morning as I write this update, I can't help thinking how my day started and ended with two broken people, Sam and Anya reminding me of the responsibility we carry as Christians, to bring healing, restoration and transformation to those who need Jesus desperately.

Sanctuary has commenced its new start as people have listened to God and followed his will and taken big risks for the sake of the Kingdom.

But my desire is that the Sam's and Anya's of this world encounter the same reviving Spirit that has created a new way forward for the Salvation Army in Ealing London, and get their new starts.

The road ahead is hard and full of danger.

But.

The hope is bigger.

A lot bigger.

Because God is awesomely and infinitely massive.

Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement.

Emergence (A Prophecy)

6am

The emergence of the morning appears slowly from the shadows of the night.

Grey turns to autumn gold.

Emergence.

My prayers are quiet.

peaceful and easily centred.

God speaks to me through the emergence of the morning.

It's a new beginning.

The emergence of the morning speaks to me clearly.

The darkness we sometimes feel will soon be gone. The tough times are fleeting. The blackness of night that sometimes envelopes our lives will dissapear.

The emergence of the morning.

It speaks of hope.

Hope eternal.

It speaks of life.

It speaks of a new start.

It is a glimpse of Heaven to the eyes of our souls.

The emergence of morning is a pilgrimage.

It's not a journey with maps, coffee shops and travel documents.

It's a journey of the soul.

In the emerging morning God speaks this word prophetically this day.

Beyond the darkness there is a light. A light so majestic, a light that flashes its electrifying beams in glorious splendour, healing light, a saving light, a restoring light, a transforming light. Beyond the darkness is new ground, ground that we do not know. beyond the darkness there is a new hope. Beyond the darkness there is a glory that will touch the very heart of you. Beyond the darkness is new life far greater than anything we can comprehend. The emergence of a new morning. the Spirit of God says this day that its time to push through the veil of the night. It's time to pilgrim towards the new ground that lies beyond. You will not see what is there in the first morning light. You will have to trust me says the Lord almighty. You cannot know the whole picture. Don't search for the answer, search for the new ground, search for the light of the day. Be brave, be braver than you have ever been. I have prepared you, I have equipped you, I will not leave your side even though I have gone before you. The night is drawing to an end, morning will soon be here. We have to go to places not yet discovered, we have to go beyond the curtain of night in to uncharted waters. You have to push through, do not be afraid for I am with you says the Lord almighty. It is time to walk from your darkness, its time to stand. You don't have to reside in the shadows of the past. Stand says the Lord. The morning is emerging says the Lord almighty. The mechanics of your soul are in my care says the Lord. Be free, head towards the light of the day. My glory will save you, my glory will shape you, my glory will connect you with my true and perfect will. The night has to end. The morning is emerging. Go child, trust me, keep your eyes on me, I know the big picture, you absolutely don't know it. It is time! You have stayed in the darkness too long. It is time to discover things you never would believe. Its time to discover depths of my love you never thought possible. It is time to herald the morning of the miraculous. So push on through. Through the veil of night into the emergence of the morning.

So here we are.

It's up to us.

As I sit in the gold of the autumn morning I pray this for you.

Lord, You are astonishing, so astonishing that we lift your name high forever. Please allow your word to penetrate our lives. Thank you for the morning, thank you that you alone can rescue us from the grip of the night. Thank you for the hope that lies beyond what we think or know. Thank you Jesus. I pray for anyone reading this who knows you are speaking. Help us to know you mean business. Help us to get up. Help us to walk into the emergence of the morning. Help us to not be afraid of pushing into new ground, in our personal life or in the corporate life of your church. We declare that you are the hope of this world. We make the very real declaration that you are Lord Jesus over all of mankind.

Lord please touch lives through this word as it is tested in your name.

In Jesus name

Amen

Sanctuary Update 4

Her broken English has a strong quality.

Deep.

Resonant.

Anya is Polish.

I sat opposite her today over a cup of tea.

Her eyes are deep set and glint a vibrant rich green.

Yet.

They reflect something sad, something terrible even.

Anya lives in a broken lift (Elevator) in a disused office block here in London.

She wanted to show me her arms which she said were extremely sore. They were livid with needle marks.

She is addicted to some of the most deathly drugs known to man.

She shared with me a desolate story of hopelessness starting with her journey from Poland to England, and then the desperate story of the relationships she made with the wrong kind of people ending with an addiction that is slowly leading her down the steep road to oblivion.

I gently prayed over every needle wound and saw her tears drip rhythmically on to the table.

This week at sanctuary the fruit of the hard work of prayer has began to roll out.

We've seen it before.

So expect it.

But.

This week?

God has drawn people like Anya into our beautifully developing community at Sanctuary West London.

Like Tom.

Just this morning.

Tom sleeps in the park and was so desperately hungry that he could hardly stand up.

I watched as our amazing developing volunteer team lovingly took care of him giving Tom food, clothes and let him wash in our toilets.

Like Karl, who has been coming in every day since we opened, homeless, penniless, locked in a seemingly hopeless position.

Like Elvis, yes Elvis! Although Im not sure it's his real name. spaced out by some drug that has hit his nervous system like a bullet made of evil.

Like Elaine who just came in and asked if we would pray with her. She feels devoid of any direction in her life whatsoever.

Like the lady who came in and asked Myself and Ian one of our great volunteers if she could talk to us in the cafe, and shared how her marriage is falling apart.

All day we have been opening Jesus arms to people.

Its like a trickle of need is now turning into a steady flow and it feels like we are gearing up for a tidal wave.

And

I watched the developing little community at Sanctuary today.

I was privately moved to tears myself.

How willing people are to reach out to help these people who are in desperate need of a saviour.

I thought how God is at the heart of community.

And.

I saw how today the world so desperately needs communities with a heart.

There is so much work.

The harvest is massive.

I prayed with so many people today that my brain hurts tonight.

But my heart is alive.

And this newly born community is alive.

And as the leader of the West London development project I truly know that God is at work. He is building this community, this church, this prayer centre. He is changing the face of the Salvation Army in Ealing.

And I guess this is a bit of a weird update, and it in no way covers all the amazing stuff that is happening right now as newness envelopes the direction we are taking through Gods leading.

But.

I wanted you guys to catch a little of the heart of what God is doing through prayer, mission and Justice.

And.

I continue to speak out that prayer is vital.

It will bring healing to the nations.

Sanctuary West London came in for some real criticism lately on a Facebook site ran by Salvationists.

One guy had wrote about prayer communities declaring "where is the mission in them?"

I'm not mad at these guys.

I really bless them.

But today?

As I ministered amongst the sometimes devastating brokeness that lies in our cities and communities I can firmly proclaim that prayer not only fuels mission but is mission!

God is at work in the mess of peoples lives and unless we are talking and listening to him then I guess we should call ourselves the headless chicken church.

Seriously.

Psalm 127:1 says it all.

 I leave it with you.

"Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain."

Thank you guys for all your encouragement which comes from all four corners of the Earth. Thank you so much.

Blessings

Simple word

This morning in my "me" time with scripture, I heard God speak some stuff. I never normally share these precious personal times with anyone, but this morning felt that God wanted me to share these thoughts on my blog. Furthermore I felt him say that this is for someone who needs it.

My scripture was just one verse today.

Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our maker; for He is our God and we are the people of His pasture, the flock under His care. Today, if you would only hear His voice. (Psalm 95: 6-7)

So here are my thoughts which I scribbled down.

Come

The first thing is we have to come into his presence. its an invitation, a glorious invitation, a plea direct from God, you can almost see Gods arms open and outstretched.

Let us bow down in worship

When we enter his presence we bow down before him. Bowing is a recognition. recognising in this case that the King of Kings is God. Worship is partly about recognition, but its also about declaring our love and affection to his majesty the King of Kings, its about wonder, awe, praise and life.

Let us kneel before the Lord our maker.

kneeling is about humility. Its about relationship and its no surprise that kneeling is synonymous with prayer. Its about immersing yourself in a beautiful relationship with the very being that made us. which makes him our father forever.

He is our God and we are the people of his pasture.

This is covenant talk. Overtones of I will be your God and you will be my people. A divine covenant that will be alive forever without fail. In this psalm the writer adds a nice reminder that not only are we Gods people, we are also people of his pasture, which speaks of provision, and as people of his pasture he will supply every thing we need as we immerse in a relationship with him.

The flock under his care

As part of Gods people we are likened to a flock of sheep. sheep need gathering, caring for, feeding, and that takes love. God cares for us so much that he tends us like a flock, administering sheer care out of a bedrock of unconditional love.

Today, if only you would hear his voice.

The word “today" strikes urgency into this verse. Then, what I would describe as a yearning straight from the heart of a Saviour who loves you, “If only you would hear his voice. With all that's on offer here? An awesome God, King, father, friend and saviour. An amazing relationship with everything we need supplied, with care provided, the kind of which we could never have even dreamed about, no wonder there is an urgency and a yearning. Many people live without accepting this offer. Yet the offer stands. God’s voice is speaking this offer over us today, maybe its time to come to him? It is the most vital invitation that mankind will ever need.

That was my reflective process in operation this morning.

I pray that this simple message will touch whoever reads it this day

If I had my time again

The other day a girl from the church I grew up in sent me a request through FaceBook.

She was leading a service and wanted to ask some people some questions that would help her with her talk.

Three of the questions were tough yet easy at the same time.

Here they are.

What were you involved in in your teenage years at the Salvation army?

Who influenced you in any way?

What would you do differently if you were a teenage Salvationist once again?

I had a good long reflect on this.

And.

I wrote some stuff down.

And.

I really felt compelled to publish it on my blog.

It may help someone?

Maybe it won't, but here goes.

The first thing that came to mind was this.

To steal a line from a classic book, It was the best and the worst of times.

To answer the question on what was I involved in that was easy.

I was in the brass band, the songsters, I was a soldier, I wasn't a Christian. I hated the rules around the Army, I was uncomfortable in front of mates in a uniform even resorting to lying down in the back of the family car so no one would see me! On the outside I was probably a likeable rogue at best, on the inside I was heading for oblivion.

Thats pretty much it!

Who influenced you?

The first name has to be my own mother of course. She prayed for my salvation until that happened at the age of 36, I guess she still does. She demonstrated a relationship with God through the worst of family times and still came out praying. Then a lady called Nellie Hughes was my sunday school teacher. She taught me something that I didn't have much of as a teenager, humility. She gently taught me about relationship with God that planted a seed in my head that I carried throughout my none Christian years. there were many others of course, very kind people in my Corps growing up who I wouldn't want to name for fear of leaving people out.

What would I do differently if I had my teenage years again?

I would love more lavishly. I would have taken my eyes off salvationism and turned them to Jesus. I would try to appreciate other peoples uniqueness and will them to flourish. I would have not gone with the crowd just to feel accepted. I would have been strong in my developing relationship with God and tried to bless everything that moves. I would have not allowed my life to be run by rules and regulations that someone has thought might be a good idea in an office somewhere. I would have prayed. My prayer life amounted to zero. For half my life I missed out on the glorious supernatural power of God that changes everything all because I had no idea what prayer was, I thought it was a lifeless exercise performed for five minutes in a meeting. I would have taken the circles I mixed in seriously and used it as a mission field and attempt to save everyone in it through Jesus. I would have made sure I had a guilt free social life and not a guilt laden Army life. In other words I would have made sure I was a blessing in the pub on the football field, and in everything I did instead of feeling like I was doing something horrendous by breaking Army rules. I would have lived out my life in a very different way. I would have loved to operate in the spiritual side rather than that of the crazy stuff that actually stifled my development as a soldier of Christ even though there are still those who argue that it actually helps people.

If I had my teenage years again?

I would be in love with Jesus.

But

I can't have those years again!

Thankfully I hear some people say!!!

And.

I thank God for my past.

Everyone has a past!

Dont be held back by your past because in Christ theres a future!

I now appreciate where others are at when I try to minister to them. My past helps me to lavish Gods love and mercy on people because it has prepared me to minister more effectively, because I understand.

They were the best and the worst of times.

Now.

Today?

The truth has set me free.

Jesus has disturbed, uprooted, and changed my whole being.

I thought about this the other day.

And I often say I wasted half my life.

Yet.

Im not sure God wastes anything.

And.

I thank God for those who held me up in those early years, in prayer, in rebuke and in love.

If I was encouraging a teenager, or anyone for that matter.

I would say this.

The sooner the better! Allow Jesus to change every single thing. allow God to make you dangerous to the enemy and his kingdom.  I'm not saying everything becomes dead easy and all our problems disappear as one song incorrectly says, but I AM saying everything WILL change. Life becomes like new! I didn't like Gary the likeable rogue. In fact if I look back I longed for that Gary to jog on.

And?

Praise God he jogged on twelve years ago!

It's spectacularly true that Jesus brings new life.

So the sooner the better.

So!

Be blessed.

If God can rescue me? If God can change my life completely, If God can turn a likeable rogue heading nowhere into a guy who feels free and like my life means something to others?

Then he can definitely do the same for you.

Close encounter

Encounter.

Loads of people long for an encounter with God.

It's a word I use a lot.

And.

I'm fortunate to have experienced some amazing encounters with God.

And.

Lately I've seen some fantastic encounters happening.

Like.

Before my very eyes I saw two very lonely guys who have come into our House of prayer almost everyday since we opened. Both of them live alone and don't have very much. Both have some mental illness. Both have some fairly difficult social issues. Neither of them have anyone they could call friends. They have both shared that with me.

But.

This morning.

After not even looking at each other before, a conversation between them struck up.

And.

Before long they were sharing stories, eating together, shaking hands.

As I watched I could see the encounter.

I could feel what Jesus was doing.

He was using us to knit together a community.

Very much an encounter.

Then.

Last week.

A great young girl who I met told me a fantastic story.

She was sharing with me that she wasn't sure if she believes in God.

But.

She wanted to share with me that she had an encounter that she can't make head nor tail of.

She said she was sitting on a park bench contemplating the question of whether God is rel or not.  Her friend phoned her. They started arguing about something. The girl got so mad she threw her mobile phone about twenty yards onto the grass.

At that point she shouted in frustration, "show yourself. Give me a sign or something. Come on Show yourself God if your real!"

She walked over to get her phone.

Right next to the phone was an empty Coke bottle.

In the UK right now they are printing names on the coke bottle or things like dad or mum.

On this label was the name Jesus Christ.

She was overwhelmed!

She was sharing this with me, and I had the privilege of praying directly with this girl that she would get into relationship with Jesus.

Another type of encounter.

These are just two little stories that illustrate the divine nature of God at work as the father, son and Holy Spirit work in perfect sync.

Encounter.

The fact is God is at work in this world.

In everyday things.

In relationships.

In trials.

In trouble.

In the good times.

A mate of mine said an interesting thing the other day.

He said that he thought "The church has lost the ability to see the encounter."

I know what he means.

It's definately something worth rediscovering.

Watching with expectation.

Watching with anticipation.

God at work.

His miracles aren't just confined to things like healing.

His miracles are infinite.

his offer of encounter with him through Jesus is never-ending, always available.

He does immeasurably more than we will ever know.

And.

His supernatural power is evident if we look.

I'm one of those who doesn't care much for the bad side of tradition in church.

Why?

Because that just says no to the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit. It almost mocks encounter.

Yeah.

So my advice is don't get caught up in the mechanics of the church.

look for the encounter instead.

God is at work.

So maybe there's someone out there today who feels devoid of an encounter.

your christian walk is a bit, well, lifeless?

Open your eyes.

See the bigger picture.

Encounter a God who loves you. Who knows everything about you. Who is desperate to be in relationship with you.

Go on.

Do it.

It's for the best.

The right side of hope

My mate Si.

What a guy.

Si walked into Liverpool Boiler Room over ten years ago and thus began a relational journey that will still be going on when my officership journey ends and I finally go back to the city I love to live out the rest of my life.

Si is a mission maniac.

You only have to look at his battered and crumpled bible to know he walks with God extremely closely.

Nobody is safe from being evangelised or prayed with!

It was great to see him these last couple of days.

He had come down from Liverpool to spend a few days at Sanctuary West London to give an interview for a DVD film shoot that is happening right now.

Si and I spent a great deal of time praying and chatting.

I was telling him that last week I sat with a guy who made this statement, "Its too late for the UK, Ive stopped praying for the nation to be changed because its so far Godless that there is no point to it."

A gloomy message!

When this guy said it I wanted to respond.

I didn't agree with him.

But.

I have developed my nature a lot during the last five years through some real refining by fire that has gone on my character. I think God has shaped me quicker in this last five years than at any other time
in my life so far.

So.

I held off with my response and had a little think through what he said.

As I say, I was talking with Si about it.

We looked up and down the streets of London.

Yeah.

The Godlessness is rife.

Its amazing what you see when you look with Heavens eyes.

But.

We both have learned that if you walk on the wrong side of hope then the pointlessness this guy was talking about will abound in your life.

So we asked God.

And.

This morning as I pray before a day of ministering to many who feel a bit devoid of hope, this is what God says to me.

Can a nation be changed? There are those who say that can't happen.

Yes.

The enemy has ravaged it.

Yes.

Its slipping further and further away from God.

But can this nation be changed?

Yes.

God.

God is love.

His very nature carries transformations its lifeblood.

His power is supreme.

His love never-ending.

His grace is in endless supply.

His arms through Jesus are forever open.

so?

Can a nation be changed?

Of course!

Believe it.

We had better believe it otherwise we are stripped of all hope.

Hope runs free in the presence of God.

Living in that hope changes everything.

Can a nation be changed?

Its an affirmative!

So today walk on the right side of hope.

Belief, faith and trust are the order of the day.

March into your mission fields wherever they are this day and let the open arms of Jesus take care of your hope.

I saw the mission maniac Si in action yesterday, walking on the right side of hope. A homeless man called Carl who has come into the sanctuary every day since it opened got a dose of God through Si as he lovingly got his battered bible out of his coat pocket and talked to him about Jesus and the fact that he had a bit of a homeless situation going on his life while he was on earth too. I could see tears roll down carls face as a few lights came on in his heart.

Can a nation be changed?

Blessings.