Below Zero

This morning it's freezing.

I stepped out of my front door this morning and the cold immediately bit me.

It's at times like this I wish I didn't shave my head bare blade!

My head is so cold the icy pain is penetrating my skull. Before work today I need to but a hat, pronto!

The cold this morning reflects the way I feel today.

For the longest time I've felt so spiritually hot.

But this morning I feel I am below freezing spiritually. Probably around minus 3 degrees centigrade.

About a year ago I wrote a blog called Wilderness, a blog post that shared from my heart that Dawn and I felt stranded and alone living in a small village in the North East of England miles away fro our friends, our families, and more than that, City life.

Since then we have worked tirelessly and fought ferociously to focus on kingdom building work despite our wilderness experience.

And we have come through this far.

But this morning the wilderness is back. It's never really left us but we have tried so hard to cope.

This morning though, I'm having one of those moments where I feel stuck and I can't see a way ahead for us. And I also know that we need to move back to a City soon.

I feel spiritually freezing this morning.

Below zero.

This week I traveled by train from Durham to London for a meeting.

As I stepped out onto the pavement outside Kings cross station in the centre of the City of London, I was hit by the thousands of people cramming the sidewalks, the gridlocked traffic with red buses, black taxis and filthy lorries dominating the queues. I was almost deafened by the noise of the City.

It took my breath away.

And I knew right then that this is where I flourish best, where I feel I operate to the maximum, where my heart really is.

But for now I am in a village, a village full of amazing people, at a church with such great people, who we love deeply, but my heart and my destiny lay in the City.

Every day is a fight just to fight off the loneliness and the feeling of isolation.

I don't think the trip to London helped me at all this week.

And this morning?

I feel freezing.

In the past, I have kind of resisted asking God to help us in this situation as I Know he places us where he needs us.

I know that!

But this morning I just cried out aloud to God to come and rescue us. I feel like we need rescuing.

I guess I'm not alone in feeling like this. We all get to this point I guess at various stages in our lives?

The problem is we know in theory these are the times we need to turn to God, but it seems difficult to do somehow?

With all my strength today I prayed that God would give me something to grasp a hold of.

A lifeline.

I opened the bible at Psalm 6.

Maybe Psalm 6 is a lifeline today?

This Psalm resonated totally with how I'm feeling this morning.

David seems to be spiritually freezing. He cries out to God, more than that he has right old moan to God! He says, “My soul is in deep anguish. How long? How long?”

That's my actual cry this morning!

He cries to the Lord to save and deliver him from the situation he finds himself in, he implores God to rescue him.

Sounds so much like me today!

In fact uncannily it's the same anguished cry from the heart that I have this morning.

“I am worn out from my groaning”, David cries pleadingly.

That's exactly how I feel. Internally and externally I have groaned for a long time as I have lived out this total wilderness experience.

But then, David's faith light switches on!

This is why I find the Psalms so helpful in difficult times, you can relate to the anguish but David seems to be able to switch on his faith light in almost every situation.

He says with stunning assurance, “The Lord has heard my cry for mercy, the Lord accepts my prayer.”

Among all the coldness of an anguished soul He recognizes that God not only hears our prayers but accepts our prayers.

This truth brings heat my freezing heart this day.

Deep in my being, I know that God is there, I know he hears my cries, and I understand he accepts my cries, takes them on board. He doesn't just absorb them and do nothing, he always does something.

Whatever you feel today, whatever situation you guys find yourselves in, then, maybe this truth will bring some warmth to your soul today.

God hears and accepts our prayers.

I don't want to hog my prayers today with my needs, so I pray for you today that this post will help you in some way.

Pray revolution

Thursdays at Sanctuary 21 are becoming slightly manic.

We cook a breakfast of bacon sandwiches and coffee and it draws many needy people, especially the homeless into our community.

This morning was particularly mad, but massively fruitful.

A kingdom kind of fruitful.

It just moves me.

Im hopeless at times.

Shedding secret tears as I see and hear stories unfolding of lives that are so broken and hopelessly lost.

This morning a number of us who work with these guys, probably work is too harsher word, maybe befriend is better, sat with different groups of them and ate breakfast and chatted.

The guys I sat with started an interesting conversation. Both of these guys sleep on the streets and were not in the best of states this morning.

One guy asked the other, "what would start a revolution in your life?" The guy replied, "To wear a new suit with a shirt and tie, and proper shoes."

He went on to say "it would make me feel like a businessman."

The question was then thrown back.

"So what would start a revolution in your life?"

"To see my prayers answered for Davey the dog."

Davey the dog, a nickname for a guy who is homeless and who has cancer, is a guy these other guys take care of.

As I sat in the conversation, the question came to me. "Gary what would start a revolution in your life?"

I was glad to share that a revolution had started in my life when I came across Jesus of Nazareth.

I thought about what these guys were saying.

I was intrigued that they saw praying as the start of a revolution. So I says to both these desperately needy people, "Do you pray then guys."

"Yeah" came back the reply.

"It changes everything for us."

I was startled into silence.

How these guys need a revolution.

The same revolution that has changed my whole being.

And here were voices direct from the street reminding me that prayer is revolutionary.

I heard the call this morning.

I heard it as I saw Jesus in the faces of the broken.

This Christmas, amidst all the good and necessary practical things we who have been revolutionised by God will do. Lets make sure we put prayer at the heart of it all.

Because spiritual change is what needy people really need.

Pray for those who are in desperate need of a revolution.

In desperate need of a saviour.

In other words a radical shake up of their lives that leads to total transformation.

Lets put our backs in to praying for those less fortunate.

Let the revolution begin.

Marching

In the scheme of things, reading 1 Chronicles 11: 4-9 this morning in a silent prayer space in sanctuary 21 Durham, I am reminded of just how massive God is.

Actually I can't even begin to understand just how awesome he is.

But this morning?

This morning I feel it.

The awesome presence of God.

It's so awesome the room seems thick with electricity.

And you know what?

God is speaking into the thick, highly charged atmosphere.

This is what he is showing me and I have a heavy feeling I have to share this today.

The truth that will not sit well with those who put their salt in "religious", the man-ordained or the fruitless power games that so many get caught up in, is this, that God always wins!

I love the opening couple of verses of this scripture.

David and all the Israelites marched to Jerusalem (That is Jebus). The Jebusites who lived there said to David, "you will not get in here."

And this next line just cracks me up!

Nevertheless, David captured the fortress of Zion-which is the City of David.

There is no mention of the battle that must of ensued. Just someone told David that he wasnt going to win, But in the next breath here we see David obviously a conqueror despite what others were saying.

In other words, whatever man says about any situation, If God wants something different to happen it is going to happen.

I've had a great year this last year, spiritually. which is amazing because we live in such a spiritually dry part of the UK. God has spoken specifically to us about our ministry this year. and we have shared this with people. Some of them people have said, "that will not happen."

God says Gary, march up to your Jerusalem.

So whatever man says?

I'm marching.

I think this is the key to the feeling of utter freedom I have been walking in this year.

And I feel it and I embrace it.

The scripture goes on to say, "David then took up residence in the fortress, and so it was called the City of David. he built up the city around it, from the terraces to the surrounding wall, while Joab restored the rest of the city. And David became more and more powerful, because the Lord almighty was with him."

Here is what the Spirit of God says to you this morning.

"If something seems over or blocked or dead in the water? Then hear this."

"IT AIN'T OVER."

"March up to your Jerusalem, in other words those dreams and visions I lay on your heart. Those things I set you to fight for despite the opposition.2

Of course the key to all of this is found in the last line of this scripture, "David became more and more powerful because the Lord almighty was with him."

Rememeber today it's good to value opposition, we can learn so much from it, we can shape our lives for the better if we learn from it. But remember that God always wins so no opposition, no matter how powerful they or it might think they are, no matter what someone may be saying to you about that God-felt thing you have deep inside you, such as that can't or won't happen?

If God has ordained it?

No-one, nowhere, at no time past present or future will ever stop the plans of God for our lives!

So rise today.

Get your head up.

March.

Just like David.

Despite the opposition?

The Lord almighty is with you.

So victory is sure.

Blessings guys.

Sundown

How I miss Liverpool, how I miss the city life.

I am a city boy through and through.

I love the fast pace.

I love the sound of the sirens, the traffic, the beautiful notes produced by commerce and trade, the constant interruptions caused by business ringtones on the latest smart phones.

I love all major Cities.

I operate better in them.

But most of all?

I do miss the city that’s in my heart.

Liverpool.

There is a saying that says you can take the boy out of Liverpool, but you can’t take Liverpool out of the boy.

And I know just how true that is.

But for now?

I don’t live there.

I remember the first time I returned home to Liverpool within a week of moving to my appointment in the north East.

I was so homesick, I had to just get in the car and drive back to the city.

That was nearly four years ago.

I remember the drive well.

It was a gorgeous summer evening. The sun had been staring down on earth from its constantly changing position in a cloudless almost aqua-marine blue sky.
As I drove smoothly on an almost traffic less M6 motorway, I approached the City of my childhood, the city of my youth, the city that was my home for the largest part of my life so far.

As I approached the end of the motorway the sun began to set.

It seemed to increase in size as it descended toward the precision straight line of the horizon.

Its colour also seemed to become deep red, a deep red that was so deep it soothed your eyes with its beauty.
And it was then that I heard God’s voice.

I heard him speak into my mind, but more importantly I heard his voice deep in my heart.

His words were like golden oil.

“You need to let the sun go down on Liverpool.” I have work for you to do elsewhere. One day you will return when the time is right.”

This week I’ve been speaking in various places in the UK. God has been moving.

I noticed that I prayed with a number of people who were in the situation I am describing. Do I stay or do I go? This seemed to be a common thread in what people were asking for prayer for.

Not just for geographical moves, but people wanting to move on from situations that they had hung around, or let hang around them, for maybe too long.

Do I stay or do I go?

It’s a hard question. I obviously can't answer that.

God has the answers to that.

But I do know this, that sometimes there is a time that comes where we have to draw the line on something.

Of course the closer to our heart that the situation is that we face, the more difficult to actually let it go.

But you know, I feel spiritually compelled to write this tonight, so I guess someone reading this tonight will know God is speaking to you.

Here is a scripture to help you clarify some things maybe?

“No one who puts a hand to the plough and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Luke 9: 62

God has so much for us in the future.

There is so much to do.

And no matter how hard it is we need to stop ourselves from looking back. I was getting tied up in knots when I kept looking back to the place I love the most on the planet.

I had to let go.

I had to let the sun go down on it.

I had to close that chapter.

And open a new one.

While I wasn’t letting the sun go down, I was not fit for work. Well I did it, but I wasn’t as sharp as God needed me to be.

Here is what the Spirit of God says tonight.

Be full of courage and draw the line. Put your hand to the plough, move into the future boldly and confidently. Even if you don’t know what’s waiting there, in the future, I’m there so come, claim what I have for you.

Do not look back.

Let the sun go down on what you know needs to be finished.

Treasure

OK I’m a bit on the sad side sometimes!

I admit it, I love archaeology!

I have a Time Team addiction, Tony Robinson and all that.

If God had not called me into ministry, I would have definitely been an archaeologist!

Last week dawn and I were in London for our appraisal. One of the mornings we decided to go for a coffee. We walked for about a mile from the conference centre where we were staying, and found a fantastic coffee shop and loaded ourselves with skinny cappuccino’s that were so deliciously gorgeous I could have drank ten cups!

While we were walking to find the coffee place we came upon some work being done to a wall that separated the pavement from somebody’s front garden. The pavement was sealed off and we had to walk around. The workmen had dismantled the very old bricks and piled them up ready for rebuilding. The wall, which was a high wall about six feet high, had been almost pushed over by the earth of the front garden that was raised to about three feet. So where the wall had been dismantled all you could see was a three foot high block of brown earth.

I am always fascinated by the earth.

This is really how sad I am, I get excited by the thought of what lies beneath the ground surface.

Naturally my eyes were drawn to the three foot high block of earth.

I could see bits of old pottery, old wood, and a bit of metal.

How breathtakingly exciting that is! (Not, I almost hear you say!)

Treasures buried for who knows how long.

That’s archaeology!

The trouble is because I didn’t study archaeology I haven’t got a clue what these bits of treasure were telling me!

Dawn thinks I’m mad!

I got so excited over a few bits of broken pot!

I think secretly she doesn’t know which pot is the most cracked! Me or the stuff in the ground!
After I’d checked out the bit of old ground, a scripture hit me.

It’s a scripture that has kind of protected my ministry as someone gave it me the day I became a Salvation Army officer and it has been in my head at the best and worst of times.

Isaiah 45: 1-3: This is what the Lord says to His anointed, to Cyrus, whose right hand I take hold of to subdue nations before him and to strip kings of their armour, to open doors before him so that gates will not be shut. I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

I couldn’t get that piece of earth out of my head, and in my mind’s eye I could see that there was hidden treasure buried in the ground, concealed for years.

I began to filter through in my head some of the bad times I’ve experienced in my life.

We all go through them sometimes.

I remember early on in my ministry I struggled with some of the religious rubbish that the church has constructed over the centuries that frankly has prevented people from getting close to God or crushed people’s dreams and visions. After one particular struggle I remember a wise friend of mine in Liverpool giving me a piece of advice that has helped me so much. He said Gary whatever the situation you have to take the treasure out of it.

In other words there is always treasure hidden in every situation, things that can change your thinking and your actions, things that you can build on.

Sometimes in life there seems to be a lot of dirt and not much treasure.

But you know guys it is there.

They reckon that large parts of the UK are hiding treasures from the past just waiting to be discovered.

Here is God through Isaiah promising us that he will give us hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places.

What an amazingly spectacular promise that is.

Whatever situation you are in right now, especially if you can’t see your way through the dirt of something then know this, in that dirt there is treasure waiting to be discovered.

Treasures that can add to our lives, that can make us better people.

But you have to dig for treasure.

And digging is hard work
.
However hard the ground may seem, that situation you’re in, if you look beyond the dirt, work hard to look beyond it, you will find the treasure that God has for you.

And it’s there.

Because God promises us it is.

Blessings

How far would you go to pray for someone in need?

Praying today, my mind was overwhelmed by a story.
It was a story told to a class of students of which I was one at William Booth college in London.

It was told by an old Salvation Army officer long retired but teaching biblical prophecy.

This guy had been working for years in remote locations in Africa, taking the gospel into deep dark areas that were littered with poverty and people who had never heard of Jesus.

When he taught, he never used notes or planned a lecture, he just used to open a battered old bible and start to talk.

His voice was like an anaesthetic really, but that didn't really matter because he oozed Jesus.

And his stories demanded your total attention.

He was telling us that when he was a young minister in a very remote African village, he became extremely ill with some rare viral disease. So ill that he was a whisker away from death.

After a long and hard battle with the illness he suddenly awoke from his delirious stupor. He was weak but alive and seemingly well.

Sitting at the bottom of the bed was another Salvation Army Officer, a willowy and painfully thin old man of seventy three.

It turned out that this old officer had heard God in a dream say he needed to go to this village because a young man was ill and he needed to pray for him.

The two officers did not know each other.

The problem was the village was 350 miles away from where the old man lived.

So the old guy got on his bike and pedalled three hundred and fifty miles in obedience to God.

He stayed and prayed passionately over the young guy until his fever broke.

When the young guy awoke, the old guy said a final prayer and cycled three hundred and fifty miles back to his own village.

I don't know why I recalled this story today.

I just did.

But it has really challenged me.

I asked myself the question this morning, how far would I go to pray passionately for someone?

How far?

How obedient am in the act of responding to God's prompting?

I start here today because I believe God has asked me to throw this question over to whoever reads my blog today.

So I challenge you.

No, God challenges us to ask ourselves.

How far?

How far would we go when someone is in need?

Massive blessings on your life today.

The Prayer Hatch

I've been wanting to write up the following account for a long time, but wasnt really sure if it was bloggable material really , but felt strongly today that I should write this piece, if for nothing else but posterity's sake.

The following occurence is a great example of God at work from vision to fruition, and I think gives hope to the innovative, strength to the initiators out there, and fuel to the creative minds amongst us.

It started one freezing morning in a prayer room at sanctuary 21 Durham, a city centre 24/7 prayer centre.

Dawn and I were praying.

It was very early on after we had opened the doors for the very first time following a year and a half of spiritual preparation for the planting of S21.

The location of S21s amazing grade 2 star listed building which historically goes back to the 1600s is of critical value to the base element of the missional outflow of the prayer house, from knees to street. it is located on a pedestrianised street that is the main thoroughfare that runs through the City centre of Durham UK. The foot traffic that continually move through the street day and night means that you have to think through how best to connect the sanctuary to the street and the street to the sanctuary.

That is precisely what we were praying about that very morning.

Lord, how do we best reach the people who walk past this place every day, any ideas?

As we were praying that very simple prayer, God dropped a picture and a thought direct into my head.

He showed me one of the doors on the frontage of our building, the middle door out of three entrance doors that we have spaced out at various points on the front of the building facing the street. The door was open and I heard a voice saying, "Get a table and put it the open door out onto the street, put some blank cards and a few pens and make up a sign saying pray here."

I digested the strong thought and picture and suddenly laughed.

I said to God, "Is that all you can come up with God? Thats not very innovative or exciting is it Lord?"

God replied, "So?"

I replied, "So is that really what you want then Lord?"

"Yes" was fired back at me in no uncertain terms.

So I found an old table that was about the width of the door, and painted it silver to make it look a bit more exciting.

It didn't work it still looked like an old table, only a silver old table.

I went down to a card shop and bought a couple of packs of plain cards.

I then printed a sheet out with the very words God had given me, "Pray here".

It took all of ten minutes to open the door, lay the table across the opening onto the street, place the cards and the pens on the table, and hang the sign to pray here over the edge of the table.

We called it the prayer hatch.

And it looked a bit naff really.

I said to God, "OK God you'll have to do something here then because on the face of it this isnt really a groundbreaking mission innovation is it?"

Within a minute of saying that daft prayer a young girl came up to the table off the street, and she started to cry.

Anyone who knows me will know I'm not well gifted when it comes to crying girls!

I'm a bit rubbish with that stuff really.

But here she was writing out a prayer and crying at the same time.

I tried to get Dawn!

But I couldn't find her.

So I had to ask. "Are you OK", (That old line) was all I could think to say.

It turned out that this was her last day in Durham after being at the university for four years and she was saying goodbye to the city. She said she wasn't a Christian, but just saw the table and felt she needed to write something.

As she talked with me, I noticed a bit of queue was forming behind her.

The next person was a girl who shared with me that she was a single mum who had tried to go to Church. But because her two year old son was a bit noisy, she had been basically asked to leave by two different churches, but she said she believed in God and wanted to worship. This girl two years on comes to the prayer hatch every day and prays, she says it's kind of her church now.

Two years on, we have had thousands of people come to the prayer hatch.

Our walls are adorned with prayers direct from the street. They ar everywhere. thousands of them. We now have a team of intercessors who pray for every card and request.

To read these walls is a mission in itself, as the most heartfelt heartcries of the nation and in fact the nations connect with those who read them. we have had queues on more than one occasion, lining up to be prayed with or write a card. I could sit here and write a hundred stories of how God has touched a life at that table.

It is  a mercy seat on the street.

Just the other day, an official from Durham City vision, who are involved in the outward appearance of the streets of Durham, came in and wanted to see me about the work that is being done to renovate the next phase of our building overhaul.

He was so taken by the effect the prayer hatch is having in the city that he is looking into funding a proper prayer hatch designed specifically for people to come and pray from the street.

It all started with an old table and a sign saying pray here.

I'll stop the story there for now.

The thing I wanted to say though, is whatever God shows you, no matter how crazy it seems, test it. Do what he asks. we like to create our complex strategies in Church, strategies that work incredibly well in the world of business.

But the thing is.

This is not the world of business.

This is Kingdom business.

And the rules of engagement have to be different?

If God is in something, no complex strategy will ever matter really.

Because God will have his way.

So if God is speaking?

ACT!

For the Kingdoms sake.

Because God is the ultimate innovator. (He has got a track record in creativity afer all!)

Collision

The thing is I get lost sometimes.

Lost in a world of technology and communications.

This afternoon I was lost in one such world.

Yeah it was work and definately not play, nevertheless I was still lost in it.

Working on my computer is not best done in the cafe of my Church S21, because within five minute I will be engaged in conversation with someone or other or something or other.

Richard came and sat with me with his bowl of freshly made soup and his cup of hot tea.

So there we were.

Both of us sitting around a trendy alluminium table on trendy alluminium chairs. Me with my treasured computer, a treasured work tool, and Richard with his bowl of soup and cup of tea.

Richard is homeless and is fighting every day for warmth food and alcohol. Every day is a struggle for survival. Here he was with something treasured more than any computer, a bowl of steaming soup.

I am not homeless.

Here I was wrapped up in preparing a series of talks I have to do around the UK over the next few months.

Two people.

Same building.

Same table.

Two very different worlds.

As I watched Richard put the first spoonful of soup in his mouth, I saw him kind of close his eyes in an expression of sheer joy. He had found some food and he badly needed it.

It was sweet moment in the middle of a hard life for him.

Suddenly I felt our two worlds collide.

I was trying to carry on with my work while he was eating.

But I felt God ask me to lay down the computer and step into Richards world with him just for a while,

He needed to talk, to experience human contact just as much as he needed the soup.

And I think I understood just a little bit more that scripture that says, "Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15: 13)

So laying down your life of course means literally that, and many throughout history have done that, and there is no greater love that. But I also think this laying down also includes laying down your own life for a second or two to help someone in need or take some sort of action to make someones life much better.

I also think we should rediscover or improve the art of laying things down for others.

It is a vital element of the mission of God.

So what are you doing right now? (Apart from reading this!)

Is there someone who could do with  touch from God throough you right now?

Is there someone who needs you right now?

Then let your two worlds collide.

Its a love thing.

And there is no greater love than this.

Fight in our Bellies

The UK Salvation Army has gone "I'll Fight" crazy.

Excitement is stirring towards the I'll fight Congress next year.

Let's remind ourselves of the word that the founder William Booth delivered to salvationists in his last ever sermon at the Albert Hall London.

While women weep as they do now, i'll fight.
While children go hungry as they do now. i'll fight.
While men go to prison, in and out, in and out, i'll fight.
while there is a drunkard left, while there is a lost girl upon the streets, while there is one dark soul without the light of God, i'll fight. i'll fight to the very end.

So let's put this in perspective for a second.

This is absolutely no little Salvation Army ditty that sounds good in a song or some play on some platform somewhere.

This is massively prophetic.

It is a timeless word that deals directly with the end game, the reason, and the mission of the Salvation Army.

It is as fresh now as it was when it flowed from Booth's beard surrounded mouth.

And listen, he was the visioner, the initiator, the courageous freedom fighter, that started it all, as God worked his wonder working power right through his being.

Its a statement of justice for the poor, freedom for the captives, a communal ground for the lost and the lonely, it is a declaration of the will to succeed for the kingdoms sake.

It is an invitation for every salvationist that ever lived, or will live, to direct every ounce of energy to saving a dying world. To give everything to release those who are trapped, to bring liberation to the unfree, to bring the healing of Jesus to the sick. To befriend the friendless and the lonely, to stand alongside the poor and live out the power of the gospel.

It is a statement that says put every other thing aside that is useless to the kingdom and bring the amazing love of Jesus through the Holy Spirit to a world that desperately needs him.

While we are focussing on this statement it is a good time to take a long hard look at ourselves and give ourselves an honest answer. Is this the Army we belong to?

A few days ago I sat with the friend of a homeless guy who had just died alone in a bus shelter in the centre of the City. He is homeless himself, and on this day he was drunk. As we talked, lots of other homeless guys came in and I was amazed how they each brought him things. Food, clothes, books, chocolate. They hugged him and cried with him. 

And I thought.

This was the most amazing demonstration of kingdom values being shared that I think I am ever likely to see.

They were fighting for their brother.

So here is the thing.

How prepared to fight are we?

I want to ask that again.

How prepared to fight are we?

As we gear up to expore the i'll fight word, let's check ourselves, are we really prepared to fight for the very lives that walk this broken earth?

If we are not, if excuses surface, if duty has to be done before the fight starts, if business and strategy and finance takes priority, if our doors are closed to the outcast, if prayer is way down the pecking order, if the prophetic are shut down, if risk takers are stifled?

Then we can say with honesty that we really are finished.

Lord bless us. Ignite our passion for the lost.

Put a fighting Spirit in our bellies.

So we can fight to the very end.

Tears of a Jeremiah

Speak this word to them: "Let my eyes overflow with tears night and day without ceasing: for my virgin daughter, my people, has suffered a grievous wound, a crushing blow." (Jeremiah 14: 7)

My mobile phone rang this morning.

I kind of wish it hadn't.

A very alarmed voice on the other end was the bringer of bad news.

One of the homeless guys that are part of our community at S21 in Durham was struggling to get his words out.

He told me that Ian, a guy in his forties who came in regularly had been found dead.

My heart just took a dive.

Ian came in regularly for some warmth and some food and drink. he hung around with another homeless guy called Richard. They went everywhere together and even shared a doorway to sleep at night. they had both recently gone missing for three months, in fact the police came into S21 asking if we had seen them recently as they were listed as missing.

But one afternoon they just walked into our building as if nothing had happened.

They had walked to Scarborough from Durham, about 100 miles or so, as they said, "to see the sea."

I had taken a shine to both these guys.

They are amazing.

Yeah they are dirty, have nothing but a tin opener, knife, mug and tent, and are both addicted to alcohol, but boy I could sit and listen to their stories for hours.

Ian had not had a chance really.

He told me he had been abused all his life, which left him angry and bitter. That anger eventually put paid to his family, his job and any prospect of a future. he turned to alcohol which in turn took a hold of his life. This completed a downward spiral that saw him sleeping rough and life became a daily grind to search for the means to get the alcohol he desired to feed his addiction.

about three weeks ago he came into S21 nd his face was a mess.

H had either fell down drunk, or he had taken a beating .

he couldnt remember which.

I sat with him then and asked him if he wanted to change his life around. He turned his head, a messed up head, and said, "Gaz I do want to so much, but I just can't."

I remember I was angry with alcohol. Angry that yet again it has gripped another beautiful life. yeah I hear an uncompassionate world saying it was his choice, his fault, but if they heard this guys story? I think the world would think again.

But today? It probably claimed his life.

Way to early.

Richard his friend, had to go an identify the body apparently, and I fear for him. another amazing life in danger.

In fact today I am upping my prayer for those vulnerable people who live on the edge of alive.

Writing this in the silence of one of the prayer rooms  S21, I cry the tears of a Jeremiah who, like God, would weep over a nation.

I weep over a nation that largely walks on by the homeless and the broken.

I weep for Ian and Richard and those who for whatever reason have nothing, they live in despair and lack of hope.

Its sad today that another person has died so young.

Ian suffered immeasurably, rejected by a world that had no time for him.

He was rejected and despised.Then left to die alone.

Ring any bells yet?

Yeah, I weep today the tears of Jesus who knew exactly how Ian felt. Jesus knew him, loved him, hung around with him, wanted the very best for him, treasured him.

Ian couldn't seem to see that.

But, I rejoice in the fact that he did experience God's amazing love through the kindness of a Church who loved him, did have time for him and showed him the practical love of a saviour.

And there lies the mission heart of Christianity.

Acceptance, love and compassion.

I challenge the church today, all of us who say we are part of it, to let those things course through our veins.

I challenge us to not be afraid to weep the tears of a Jeremiah that would weep over a nation.

Because from those tears flows action, flows love, flows the Spirit of God, flows mission.

Massive blessing all over your life today.

Watchable Chaos!

The first day back from our holidays was special.

Well I think so anyway!

It's freshers week in Durham. Hundreds of new and returning students are filling the streets, buzzing about. Some looking a little pale and lost, others loud and brash.

A kind of watchable chaos!

But the City has taken on a fresh vibrancy this week.

And so has Sanctuary 21.

The worship Studio is converted into a kind of freshers market place where churches and various Christian groups like the University CU and of course us at S21 are making contact with new Students and welcoming back the familiar students that we already know and love.

There is a 24/7 Prayer event going on downstairs with loads of young people heading to our Prayer Centre to pray.

The place has been packed with people coming and going, praying and eating, laughing and crying.

There is definately a spiritual electricity riding in the air.

It is so so so good to be back.

But adding massively to the vibrancy are the really needy people who flock into our place for friendship, food, drink and warmth.

The homeless, the poor, the lonely, yeah, even the sick.

James, an amazing guy who works for Emmanual Church in Durham and has a big heart for the lost, and I, this morning set about making bacon sandwiches for these people (well, James did, I am just useless in the kitchen) as we have planned to do every thursday morning and give them opportunity to talk to us about anything.

I want to say this morning, I felt so humbled by sitting with these people, and the welcome they gave me back from my holidays. I felt loved and accepted and needed in my work for God. What a massive lift I got this morning.

What a contrast though.

Amazing young people at the start of their time at university in a new City and all the excitement, hope and newness that comes with that.

On the other hand, equally as amazing people who in many cases dont have anything. No place to lay thier heads, no money, they cant see any future, they have lost hope in many ways. many of them are probably at the lowest point a human can reach. I sat with a beautiful girl later on in the morning, who told me she had been sleeping rough for the last year and how she had to resort to working the streets to get money. She looked at me with awesome green eyes that were vibrant yet really sad and said, "I just need someone to talk to." My heart flipped over a few times and I locked into her pain a bit.

I want to talk to her.

For hours.

I want to be available day and night for these guys.

I say I want to see the lonely making friends, the homeless getting shelter, the alcoholic getting dry, the drug addict getting clean. th prostitute getting off the streets.

looking at this contrast between hope and no hope, I just knew more than ever to day that Jesus stands there.

I knew with a strength of confidence I havent been able to reach in a while, that he is there for everyone. No one who has ever walked this earth has been without the love from a saviour.

Hes there for the student.

He is there for the homeless guy.

He is there for you.

And listen, God needs every Christian to be there for the whosoever.

It's good to be reminded that we are his hands and feet.

We are it, the Church, his hands and his feet.

Are we there for the whosoever?